Recycled
by suckersoprano
Summary: GLaDOS has several brain-dead test subjects on hand, but a bunch of handy constructs to fill their mind. Their minds reawaken back to their previous lives. Factventure multi-chapters
1. Chapter 1

Getting downloaded into the brain dead human probably wouldn't go quite as smoothly as GLaDOS was hoping, but when one opens up a huge vault of humans just to find they're all completely incapable of testing, one does what one must. GLaDOS certainly could do as she must, she was the mistress of this facility and any of the A.I. in it would be at her beck and call for this little experiment. Unfortunately, she didn't have much A.I. left in the facility… Oh well, there were ways to ensure their longevity.

She sifted through the piles and piles of corrupted cores that were left. Most were completely dysfunctional and weren't suited to even inhabit their own rail-managed sphere, but thankfully, after that nasty incident with one Intelligence Dampening sphere that shall remain nameless, there were two personality cores with some use left in them that she knew of. The other two functioning personality spheres were thankfully and safely orbiting the moon by now, so these two would have to do. GLaDOS reached her claw into the pile and pulled out a stoic sphere with a pink colored optic that seemed responsive. She set it carefully onto the ground just outside of the corrupted sphere pile. She reached in again and pulled out a surprised and brash sphere with a green mesh-like optic. She immediately ignored its brash raving and set it down next to the other sphere. Now came the fun part, shoving their AI into the minds of a human and seeing if they're compatible…

Rick wasn't sure what in the hell the boss lady had come up with this time, but she promised him it involved danger somehow, so he was all game and then some. The boss lady had even been so kind as to let him chose his own body; now she was a real trooper for that one. Rick had chosen a body that he felt fit the action hero image that he'd be soon fulfilling. He sat up from the operating table that GLaDOS had set up, flexing his new fingers and testing out what it was like to have limbs.

His arms were now well-muscled, even if they were slightly atrophied from the time in stasis. He took note of this pleasing bit of information with a satisfied grin. His shoulders were wide and his face had a rugged five o'clock shadow, just like he ought. He ran an experimental hand through his thick, close-cropped brown hair, finding he already liked the gesture and made a point of remembering it. It felt familiar in a weird way.

"Are you ready to begin testing, [_insert test subject name here]_?" GLaDOS' mechanical bored voice boomed over the speakers.

"You bet your sweet ass I am!" Rick said with enthusiasm.

The Fact Sphere had quite a different experience choosing a body. He wasn't as hasty as the Adventure Sphere, or quite so taken with a certain _type_ of human. He cycled through the endless number of vegetables that GLaDOS was forcing him to choose from at least twice before he settled on something. He reasoned with himself that it was a fact that humans only lived to be 75.5738328 years on average, these were expected to live especially short lives as test subjects and former vegetables.

The Fact Sphere sat up from the table, in a different room from the Adventure Sphere and inspected his hands. He was absolutely sure it was a fact that humans had evolved with fingers to make ridiculous shapes and wild gestures with their hands, but found they were clearly not that flexible. He attempted to access his database to update this fact, but found that his vast stores of knowledge were no longer privy to him. The Fact Sphere frowned, but stood up to test his legs.

He had chosen a body that was short, but wiry. It had been the body of a former scientist, so the Fact Sphere felt he might be more comfortable in a brain that was accustomed to at least _some_ of his intellect. The rest of the body didn't make much of a difference to him, but it had sandy blonde hair that was longer than the Fact Sphere would have preferred; it hung in his eyes. It didn't matter which vessel the Fact Sphere inhabited, he was superior to other spheres in every way no matter what. He picked up the supplied pair of glasses and set them on his face.

"Are you ready to begin testing, [_insert test subject name here]_?" GLaDOS repeated in the Fact Sphere's chamber.

"Affirmative, begin testing subroutines," the Fact Sphere began, ignoring the sudden twinge of indignant annoyance when she didn't say his name.

He was the Fact Sphere and didn't have a human name, but now had many more human emotions. He hadn't anticipated coming up against a human's need for identity. Well, according to advanced algorithms, which were very important to the Fact Sphere, the best name is Craig, so he could adopt that name, if he so chose…

This was exactly the type of adventure Rick had been jonesing for! He cried a great battle cry as he dived past a row of eager turrets yelling things about dispensing product and targets. He heard the sweet song of bullets roar past his ears as he tucked into a roll to hide behind the next wall. He chuckled as he heard the turrets cautiously asking if he was still there. He didn't mean the little things any harm, but they were about to go down!

He shot a portal in front of him and then quickly strafed from behind the wall, shooting his portal gun under each turret before they had a chance to even open their side plates. They each clattered onto the floor, useless on the other side of his portal. He turned around and grinned cockily as the pile of hibernating turrets at his feet. Now if only he could think of a great one-liner…

He continued thinking as he walked all the way to the lift, but nothing came. Damn, he was never good at that part of adventuring. That was a real shame, a real big shame. He was an action guy, not a thinker…

The Fact Sphere was floating weightlessly through an Excursion Funnel. He had it set to take him right to the door, along with an errant cube following him through the anti-gravity. He found some strange kind of pleasure floating toward the goal, like it was effortless. It was far from that, he'd carefully calculated the trajectory the Aerial Faith Plate would launch him so he'd end up in the very center of the blue beam, but it relaxed him. He'd started to feel more and more cynical as time went on, as impossible as that sounds. Something being relaxing and effortless felt like a very good change for once.

The Fact Sphere gently pushed his trajectory toward the outer edge of the Excursion Funnel and landed on his feet. He quickly grabbed the cube and laid it on the button, adjusting it several times before walking to the chamber lift. The sudden feeling of weight on his own two feet again made him sad for some reason, but he refused to show it. This body was strange in many ways and he was frankly tired of dealing with it already.

He watched the glass doors shut in front of him stoically, but once his reflection appeared in the glass, he couldn't refuse the emotion anymore. He hadn't wanted this; he was more than happy continuing his life as a sphere, rolling around on a management rail without a care, spewing facts when necessary, just fulfilling his primary function! Now he had to deal with human functions, which were all much more disgusting. He had a sense of smell and a sense of taste, along with bodily functions he never hoped to know so intimately! He leaned his head against the back of the lift with his jaw set tight. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He hated human emotions the most, he thought as he tried to fight off a surge of tears that he thought were wholly overreacting. These emotions were black and horrible.

He tried to run through facts in his head in a pathetic attempt to brighten his mood. Fact: There are 40 species of flightless bird, including the ostrich, the penguin, and the kiwi, which is both a nutritious and green fruit. Fact: Neanderthals had larger brains on average than the modern human. Fact: Odontophobia is the fear of teeth. Fact: Ancient Greeks believed that the emotion 'hope' came from the bottom of a box that also housed disease, pestilence, war, and despair. He suddenly frowned at that last fact. He didn't have much hope right now and dealt with a _lot_ of boxes; the Ancient Greeks must have been idiots.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, now things were getting out of hand. Rick paced in his separate chamber, back and forth, trying to get the gnawing feeling of loneliness to go away. He had heard that humans sought out one another because their emotional states were so vulnerable, but he hadn't anticipated coming across that in his newly picked body! The hell, he expected this body to stand up to being a lone warrior in a vast array of turrets shooting at him while he barrel rolled with the cube to the button. As much as he had done just that, he wanted someone to talk to, just talk to! Cubes weren't exactly great conversationalists, contrary to what he'd heard! He… he needed a damsel in distress, or a spunky sidekick! Someone who would banter with him and compliment his shooting style or his loose-cannon attitude, yeah! Maybe someone to help with his one-liners and adventure music…

Rick paced some more and ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. He hadn't recalled saying a word, except to make a snappy one-liner once he finished a testing sphere. Okay, admittedly, they weren't that good. GLaDOS was more than happy to ignore him every time, he just… Grragh! Rick angrily flopped down in his hibernation unit and tried to sleep as soundly as he could.

The Fact Sphere—Craig had a book in hand with a blanket pulled over his head. It appeared that the body had suffered depression while he was functioning and Craig was feeling the effects of it full force. He hadn't anticipated the empty feeling hitting him right in the gut and the insistent thoughts of death. All of this was deeply disconcerting to Craig on many levels. He dealt with testing spheres quickly and efficiently, but only wanted to retreat back to his quarters where he could curl up with a book and try not to cry. He didn't know where this feeling was coming from and he didn't have the diagnostic programming to try to locate it.

"Fact: Humans are a weak species who often require the presence of others and constant reassurance to maintain their sanity," he muttered in a vain attempt to cheer himself, once again.

It simply made him feel worse that he happened to _be_ one of that weak species right now. Craig dropped his book on the floor and tried to sleep again, but he knew he would fail. Even the required sleep-aids were failing him lately.

Testing was beginning to be a chore considering there was nothing to look forward to afterward. Craig had spent the months reading as much as GLaDOS would allow, but one could only read so many books more than once in a certain amount of time. He was having trouble sleeping now, he couldn't keep his mind off of the fact that he was going to be doing this forever and it had no point, he could barely see the science of it anymore. He could do it for science, but it just seemed repetitive.

He stood in one of the bigger testing chambers with his assigned Aperture Science testing equipment. He could see the solution to this test, very easily. He stood with his toes just over the edge of precipice. He looked down and saw that it was filled with the dark black water that he knew would destroy everything that touched it. How fitting, he thought bitterly. While testing, he did his best to avoid this water to succeed; now he was making a beeline for it. He shut his eyes and prepared himself for exactly what he wanted and started to fall, but he was immediately pulled back by the collar of his jumpsuit, he made a strangled noise out of surprise.

"Now what in the hell are you doin'?" he heard and his eyes snapped open.

Craig hadn't taken a chance to look at himself in the mirror; he hadn't gotten quite accustomed to how he looked, so he was pretty shocked to see the strange sight of another human! Two bright green eyes stared at him with a bit of a twisted grin. Humans looked so strange, he thought immediately. The other human hauled him to his feet with little effort.

"Didn't your momma ever tell you it was impolite to stare?" the human said, clearly not upset, with that grin still on his face.

Craig narrowed his eyes. He recognized that voice and inflection as that horrible blowhard the Adventure Sphere, "I'm a sphere, much like yourself, so my 'mother' didn't teach me anything except what I was programmed," he said in a deadpan.

"Well shoot me outta a damn cannon, another sphere!" Rick said, ignoring Craig's obvious displeasure, "Shoulda guessed, pink eyes aren't terrible common. They're pretty cute though—hey!"

He stumbled backward as Craig pushed him away so he'd let go of his collar. Of all the people he had to run into, it had to be that showy fool, he thought, completely forgetting that he'd just yanked him from the edge of suicide. He forged on through the test, placing a portal right behind Rick and walking through it, ignoring Rick's annoyed complaining. The solution to this test was easy; he should be able to reach it without any assistance or without any distraction from some decidedly _unwanted_ company.

Unfortunately for Craig, it appeared that Rick was following him, unnecessarily yelling loudly at him. Craig squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead, it appeared this specific headache wasn't going to leave quite so easily.

"That's really ungrateful there, son. The hero's supposed to save a damsel in distress, no thanks necessary, but didn't figure ya'd be so… hey! I'm talking to you!" he yelled after Craig as he entered the lift.

Rick shoved into the tiny elevator behind him, effectively crushing the smaller man against the glass as the doors shut behind them. He pressed his back against the shut door so Craig could whip around at him with a glare. There obviously wasn't much space in the elevator, so even with their backs against opposite sides of the tube lift; there was no space between them.

Rick relaxed and put both his hands on the glass on either side of Craig's head, "Now this is more like it," he said with an easy grin.

"I couldn't agree with you more," Craig said with a snarl, pushing Rick out of the now open elevator with all of his might.

Rick fell right out of the open elevator doors and Craig stepped over him with a look of disdain. He set his portal gun in the appropriate safety return hooks and immediately halted when he realized that they were now in Craig's relaxation chamber. Rick picked himself off the floor and grumpily brushed off the front of his jumpsuit. Craig stiffly turned around to face Rick again, who was giving him a scowl. As much as he disliked the brute, he couldn't just leave him out in the rails, knowing the tube lift wouldn't return until the next testing sequence.

Rick turned back to the lift after a moment's dim thought and started banging on the glass doors, "'Ey! This isn't my place, c'mon!" he started yelling.

Craig pressed his hand to his forehead heavily. The brute didn't seem to realize that the lift wasn't coming back, but of course, his stubborn self was more than happy to attempt such a pointless plea. He decided that he'd ignore Rick for a while, until he tired himself out enough to be civil. Then Craig would consider being, god forbid it, nice. It was much warmer in his relaxation chamber, after all. He was simply furthering the cause for science, he reasoned for himself as he wandered back to his room, with the door slightly cracked open.

He began his normal post-testing chamber stretches that he found were much more necessary than he originally thought, due to this fragile human body. He quickly bathed himself as he was prone to do as often as he could, he hated how humans smelled. Once he was in a fresh jumpsuit, he peeked outside of his door. Rick had stubbornly leaned against the glass tube and was snoring softly. Craig rolled his eyes and pulled the blanket off of the bed. He quickly covered Rick with it, hoping he wouldn't be responsible if he died of exposure in the cold railways.

He returned to his room and tried to sleep, but found himself cold and restless. He immediately regretted giving that idiot his blanket. He rose out of bed and peeked out of his door again. Rick was still asleep, seeming much more comfortable than when Craig first looked. He bit his lip and thought about the consequences of this. It wasn't as though he wanted anything from Rick, just his blanket back. He would feel bad if he took it back entirely, but if they shared, that would be the best compromise.

"Fact: I'm a light sleeper, so I will wake up before this fool," he muttered, as he crossed the railway and sat down next to Rick's sleeping form.

Craig carefully tugged the blanket over his shoulders, but found it wasn't big enough to cover the both of them when Craig was trying to lean on the other side of the rail. He frowned, but figured he could explain when they woke. It wasn't as though he was trying to be kind; after all, he just didn't want to be responsible for the stubborn brute's death. Craig carefully angled his body so he was lightly pressing up against Rick's shoulder and successfully covered the both of them. After a moment's thought of how awkward this was going to look, he actually fell asleep. That was the quickest he'd fallen asleep in weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

Craig woke up quite a bit more horizontal than he remembered. He blinked a couple of times, trying to remember what happened between now and a few hours ago. He rolled over and realized that he was now in his relaxation chamber, sleeping on the mattress… He furrowed his eyebrows and shot up in bed, searching around the room for… Rick walked out of Craig's bathing station with wet hair and nothing but a towel around his waist.

"Oh, mornin' gorgeous," he said with a flick of his head.

"W-what in the hell is going on?" Craig sputtered, immediately averting his widened eyes.

Rick laughed, "Y'mean you don't remember? I woke up last night to find an angel sleeping next to me. Figured he'd be more comfortable in his own bed and now here we are."

Craig's face turned a funny shade of pink. He hadn't intended on letting that oaf find him like that, and then he had the nerve to drag him back to bed? He had to set things straight now, find out if anything else happened and let him know that Craig meant absolutely nothing by it. He did it out of a sense of self-preservation, knowing that GLaDOS would be furious if she found out Craig let the other test subject die… The more he thought about the more holes appeared in his excuse. GLaDOS wouldn't bat an eyelash if Rick had died and would have probably blamed Rick himself instead of bothering Craig at all about it. He wouldn't have done this when he was a sphere, he probably would have let him know how long it took for an average human to die of hypothermia and let him be!

"You can look if you want, beautiful, I don't mind," Rick interjected, breaking Craig's train of thought.

"Stop calling me that!" Craig protested angrily, still keeping his eyes firmly away from Rick's half naked body, "Clothe yourself so I can properly berate you for being so assuming!"

Rick chuckled knowingly, but did as Craig was demanding. He pulled on his jumpsuit and sat down on his bed in his line of sight.

"So, uh… what should I call you, gorgeous? 'Fact Sphere' don't have the right ring to it, yanno?" Rick said, leaning his back against the wall and crossing his arms behind his head.

Craig bristled when he heard one of the ridiculous pet names Rick was so fond of using, "Craig, that is the name I've chosen, call me _that_ but nothing else," he grumbled.

Rick peered at him for an embarrassingly long moment before leaning forward, too close to Craig for his own comfort, "I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, whaddya say we start over, let bygones be bygones and all that, huh?"

Craig stared at the proffered hand that was nearly poking him in the chest. He almost softened, realizing that Rick knew he had maybe gone too far and was trying to make up for it in the only way he knew how, but he steeled back up again and pushed his hand away.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's not like I don't remember you when I was a sphere," he scoffed, "Constant bickering and if I recall, I called you a coward and a blowhard. It seems the facts don't change."

Rick sat with his mouth agape, trying to figure out a way to retort as Craig moved off of the bed and checked to see if the lift had returned. He shut the door angrily when it had not. Now he was stuck in his relaxation chamber with the biggest blowhard he'd ever have the displeasure of knowing for who knows how long. He leaned his head against the outside of the door and tried to think of possible solutions for his predicament.

Rick finally recovered from Craig's outright rude outburst. He frowned, trying his best to feel this guy out. He was so sure when he found the guy sleeping on his shoulder, that there was some kind of attraction there. Rick really didn't blame him, he was a dashing and heroic adventurer; it just went with the territory. He had been a perfect gentleman taking him back to his room; not to say the thought of taking advantage didn't cross his mind. He didn't blow smoke when it came to complimenting a beautiful dam—Well, he didn't throw those words around lightly, anyway, not in his mind. He didn't care so much about the damsel part anyway.

He picked himself off of the bed and went to investigate where in the hell that cutie got himself to and if he was in a better mood yet. Once he was paying attention, he heard a soft banging noise against the door. He quickly opened the door and Craig came tumbling through it. He thankfully caught himself in time. He quickly backed up and moved away as quickly as he could, but Rick grabbed his arm.

"Well, we're probably stuck here together for a long time, sweetheart," he said, unable to take the bit of annoyance out of his voice.

"I'm perfectly aware of that," Craig snapped, attempting to remove Ricks hand from his arm, "That doesn't mean anything, now let go of me!"

"You could try getting' off your high horse and trying to cooperate, ya' know-it-all!" Rick cried in frustration. He was impossible!

Craig tugged his arm away harder, "Go… go burn in hell, you sack of hot air! You're nothing but a useless coward, now let me go!"

Rick made a guttural noise that suddenly scared the wits out of Craig, distracting him from his predicament long enough for Rick to drag him back into the room and toss him on the bed effortlessly. He climbed on top of Craig before he had a chance to get away. He was now pinned underneath of the big man's shoulders, trying to wiggle out from underneath of him. He made a desperate squeak as Rick grabbed a fistful of his hair and tilted his head backward. He attempted to find his voice several times before he made any noise.

"Stop, p-please s-stop," he gasped in fear.

Rick let him go and rolled off of him, sitting on the side of the bed with a surly expression. He didn't appreciate being called a coward; that circuits-for-brains couldn't see that, well he didn't care. Craig sat up immediately and ran his hand over his face, breathing heavily. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack and hyperventilate. He tried to breathe through it, but he was wholly unaccustomed to these sorts of reactions. After a few gasping breaths, he felt movement and tried not to panic more. He wasn't scared, he wasn't scared of this idiot, he kept telling himself.

Rick appeared on the other side of the bed, kneeling right in front of Craig. Apparently this damsel in distress needed more help than being pulled off a literal precipice. He knew that he was the source of the problem; it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that. Craig began gasping for air again as Rick got closer. He was shaking like a leaf. It seemed the high and mighty Fact Sphere picked a rather weak human body to inhabit. It was pitiable, to say the least.

"Calm down, little 'un, I'm not gonna hurtcha," Rick said, trying to sound soothing.

He took Craig's hand and gently rubbed his thumb over the knuckles. He was trying to be gentle, which wasn't one of his talents, but he was all this shaking mess of a man had right now. He watched Craig's widened pink eyes stay firmly out of his gaze. He started to calm down once he realized that Rick wasn't trying to hurt him, it appeared. He might never have admitted that, but he was calming down nonetheless. Rick waited until his breathing returned to normal before he moved again, save for the constant grip on his hand.

"Better now?" Rick asked, offering a grin.

Craig looked away, half in shame and half in disgust. Rick immediately dropped his grin when he saw that look. Well, he'd just have to change that opinion and pretty damn quick, if he had anything to say about it! He reached up and ruffled Craig's hair gently, who visibly flinched when he moved. Craig hadn't meant to, this body had kind of a reflex when it came to those things. He hadn't anticipated experiencing the fear response so strongly when Rick had just picked him up like a ragdoll, it must be something that the host's mind remembers, but something Craig couldn't access. Rick stood up, making a move to leave. Something in Craig's stomach felt like it dropped and he grabbed his sleeve without thinking.

He said something that Rick couldn't hear, "What was that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry I called you that," he said, slightly louder, "Please don't leave."

Rick turned to look at the man clinging to his clothes. He was looking down and biting his lip nervously. Well damn, Rick thought, if he didn't have to be so damn… Well, nobody had riled him up quite like the Fact Sphere had when they were simply AI, but looking at Craig's expression made the 'protect and defend' instinct in him go off like crazy. He pulled Craig's hand off of his sleeve by his wrist. He looked up at Rick with some apprehension, but Rick immediately let go and sat down on the bed next to him. Craig leaned forward on his knees and hung his head. He was reduced to looking pathetic in front of someone he really didn't want to think worse of him.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, angel, don't worry," Rick said, throwing his arm around his shoulders and squeezing.

"No, you don't have to stay. Go away if you want, I don't care," Craig said, trying to sound deadpan, but just sounded sad.

"Well, I don't want to, so that solves one problem," Rick said breezily.

Craig looked up at him with a cynical expression, "Why?" he asked.

Rick smiled, but was interrupted by a sudden buzzer. Craig suddenly got to his feet and moved to the door of his Relaxation Chamber. Rick quickly got up behind him, but Craig had shut the door behind him. Craig could hear some muffled, but clearly annoyed yelling.

"Tube lift prepared for new testing chamber, all testing subjects please report to the testing chambers," an overly-cheery male voice boomed over the loudspeaker.

Craig sighed in relief as he saw the lift's doors open. Rick finally got the door open, but he was too late. Craig had already entered the lift and the doors had already shut. Craig could see Rick rushing forward and trying to pull the door open, but the lift started to rise and he just gave the angry looking man an impassive smirk. He couldn't help but think that he had left behind something troublesome, so he was much better off because he let it go.


	4. Chapter 4

After a particularly boring bout of testing, Craig was relieved to find that his Relaxation Chamber was unoccupied. He tried to lie down after his stretches, but again, it was useless. He rolled over and stared at the faux-tropical wallpaper. He had some serious déjà vu when he tried to think about palm trees, like he knew something important about it. It was eluding him and it continued to bother him for several hours as he relentlessly pursued the tidbit of information he knew about it. Something about deities… and palm fronds… but he couldn't remember any more than that. He felt a familiar twinge of regret that he'd ever entered the body of a human.

With that depressing thought, he was able to take his mind off of palm trees and realize that even though he had gotten rid of one Rick the Adventure Sphere, he had kind of humiliated himself in front of him. He curled up into the fetal position to try to ward off the sudden feeling of shame. He hated this body even more for making him sound and feel weak. He was surprised that he'd felt the most comfortable in his body right that second than he ever had. He drifted off to dreamless sleep. He didn't know why, but he was grateful.

The next few test chambers were simple and Craig didn't see the personal-space-invading Adventure sphere. He was glad for the lull in company for a while. That assuming lunatic gave Craig a lot of things to think about. His thoughts didn't stray toward the black for several testing routines. It wasn't until his minor distraction completely left his thoughts that he drifted back into feeling melancholic and emotionally exhausted. A distraction, Craig realized, was all that ridiculous show-off was and it would be too soon if he never saw him again. Even though Rick had been somewhat nice to him in return…

Craig soon realized the more he felt self-loathing, the more comfortable he felt. He had a suspicion it had something to do with the body's chemical balance. He vaguely remembered something about human brain function. He was assured it was a fact that humans only developed such horrible imbalances due to a regular diet of avocadoes, but Craig couldn't remember eating even one. Such a terrible imbalance must be due to a huge influx of avocadoes eaten by this body before Craig even inhabited it. Avocadoes are only found in Australians; was this body a cannibal? He pondered this for a while, trying to anticipate how long he'd have to wait and guess exactly how many avocadoes the subject would have had to have eaten for things to be this imbalanced while staring at the ceiling. It was better than thinking about death, which he thought it would naturally and eventually lead to.

There was a loud clang outside of his Relaxation Chamber. He sat straight up in bed in surprise. His eyes were wide with surprise and he immediately tried to stuff any feelings of fright right back down where they came from. He soundlessly rose out of bed and approached the door with some caution. It was probably just a loose wall panel, still malfunctioning from the time GLaDOS had been reawakened. He nearly jumped when he heard another loud clang again. He steeled his nerves and approached the door, pulling it open slowly.

"H-hello?" he called, unable to keep the shake out of his voice, "Is anyone… there?"

A final loud clang really did make Craig jump. It was accompanied by a large claw that hooked on the bottom of the rail toward his normal elevator shaft. Craig took a hesitant step forward, trying to peer over the rail before whatever it was saw him first. He heard a loud grunt and suddenly someone pulled themselves completely over the rail. Craig nearly sighed in relief when he saw who it was, but realized his troubles didn't end there. It was Rick and god knows why he was here.

"Hey there hot stuff, didja miss me?" Rick said cheekily.

"I, in fact, did not, and what in android hell are you doing here!" Craig said, his face an angry flushed pink.

Rick didn't immediately answer, as he was busily trying to remove the set of hooks that was currently puncturing the little bit of rail. He successfully removed it with a grunt and started pulling up a rope, wrapping it around his hand and elbow rapidly. He gave Craig a wide smile as he wound the rope; ignoring the fact that Craig was staring at him impatiently. He finally finished several long minutes later and threw the rope around his shoulder.

"Whaddya mean 'what am I doing here?' I came to see your bright and shining face," Rick said good-naturedly, "I got a little cabin fever and I realized your room was just above mine!"

Craig didn't buy that story in the least. He crossed his arms and frowned disapprovingly. There was no way that liar could have figured that out without some unexpected windfall and where did he get that rope? It was certainly not standard Aperture Science testing equipment, not in the least. It was far too _low tech_ for such a place like Aperture.

"Assuming I believe that obviously fabricated mess, what did you plan on doing when you got here?" Craig said in an impatient monotone.

Rick opened his mouth to answer, but quickly shut it again and thought for a moment, "Y'know, I hadn't really figured that part out."

Craig rolled his eyes dramatically, "Of course not."

Rick shook his head, "C'mon, it's not like I can't come up with something, especially now that you are here!"

Craig's face turned a mild shade of pink, "What exactly do you mean by that!" he cried indignantly.

Rick ignored the question and started to unravel a bit of the rope he'd gotten. He carefully hooked the claw on the rail expertly and started making two large loops on the loose end of the rope. He held out his hand to Craig with that knowing grin.

"You trust me, gorgeous?" he said.

Craig frowned deeply; that almost sounded like a challenge!

"Of course I don't, you idiot!" he said, almost defensively.

"It's okay, you'll learn," Rick said with a fully lopsided grin.

"What do you mean I'll—Hey, stop that!" Craig cried as Rick started to wrap the loops around Craig's shoulders, "What are you doing?"

"I don't think a little thing like you can get down that rope by yourself, kin'ya?" Rick said, sliding the ropes down to Craig's waist, "This way I won't have to worry about'cha, angel."

Craig opened his mouth to protest, but Rick was too fast. He scooped up the shorter man and moved over to the edge of the rail.

"What do you think you're doing?" Craig cried, flailing only until he realized that they were very close to a very far drop, "Don't you dare! Don't you dare, Rick!"

"Is that a challenge?" Rick said with a wolfish grin, "You know what that means, don'tcha?"

Rick dumped Craig over the side of the rail unceremoniously, Craig tried to grab on anything close, but was unsuccessful. He shut his eyes and screamed on the way down, but the rope immediately went taut not ten feet underneath of the rail. Craig was jostled slightly, but didn't even suffer any neck injuries from the sudden stop. He cautiously opened his eyes to see if he was dead, but found that Rick had positioned the ropes around his shoulder blades and just above his knees, so he was sitting in a makeshift sling.

"Y'alright down there, sweetheart?" came Rick's voice, sounding positively tickled with himself.

Craig sat sullenly in his sling for a moment before even moving a muscle. It was about to become a fact that he was going to kill that careless buffoon. There was some movement on the rope, so Craig looked up to make sure he wasn't going to drop again. He saw Rick's worried face over the edge of the rail.

"Don't scare me like that!" he shouted when he saw Craig hanging from the rope sling as he should have.

Craig narrowed his eyes, "Afraid you'd killed me?" he taunted.

Rick was uncharacteristically silent for a moment, Craig took that moment to fill the silence, "Don't worry, I'll have my crack at you when you get down here, you fool!" he yelled, probably louder than necessary.

Rick shook his head, but disappeared back over the rail again. There was some more movement on the rope and suddenly Craig was moving down at a much slower pace. He quickly grabbed the lead to keep himself steady, and so he could look out at the vastness of the storage strait. He saw thousands and thousands of crates that were exactly like his. He hadn't ever realized it, but his was much higher than any of the others. He wondered in passing if that had been on purpose, to make him feel more alone. He knew no one was out in those chambers, but the space was filled, at least. It didn't feel so empty and vast…

Craig felt his feet touch the ground and sighed in relief. He wasn't afraid of heights, surprisingly. Not when they didn't involve falling to one's death, of course. He got a solid footing and untangled the ropes from around himself. He looked up and heard some shouting, but he couldn't understand what was said. He found himself wishing that Rick was alright, if only because he was the only way Craig could get back up to his room. Yeah, that was it; he definitely wasn't strong enough to pull himself back up the rope. He wasn't worried about Rick falling to his doom at all, not in the least.

Craig looked around and realized he was standing on top of one of the Relaxation Chambers. Presumably Rick's, considering what he had said about being directly below Craig's chamber. He peered over the edge cautiously and looked down, spotting the railing and the same testing lift tube that Craig used, just a level lower. He slowly turned around and saw they were pressed right up against the wall. It made Craig feel like GLaDOS had shoved them into the tiniest and most forgettable corner of the Storage Strait. He could see all the rooftops, but there was nothing but vast space above him, other than his own chamber.

He approached the wall and noticed there was a loose panel, clearly malfunctioning. He tried to look past it, but it was dark… A hand clapped on his shoulder and he made a muffled noise of surprise. He whipped around and Rick was there with his smug smile. Craig hadn't even heard him come down the rope, the nerve of that…

"You found where I wanted to take ya," Rick said, pulling the panel completely off of the wall, "C'mon, don't worry, I'll protect ya from the dark."

Craig gave Rick a sardonic glare and ducked down so he could enter the passageway. It was indeed very dark, but the walls of the passage were close, giving Craig something to guide himself. Rick followed behind a respectful distance, something that surprised Craig. He was 98% sure this was going to end in some ridiculous and disgusting show of physical contact.

"Take a left at the cross road, there, sweet cheeks," Rick said suddenly.

Craig snorted, but felt his ears burn anyway. It was pitch black, there was no way he was looking! He was just trying to ruffle him now, and Craig would be damned if he'd let that work. Humans couldn't see in the dark, not unless they learned from owls. Rick's body hadn't learned from owls, did it? Craig tried to push the thoughts from his mind as he turned the left turn he needed. He suddenly saw a faint spattering of light. He was looking at a grate, he realized. Rick reached around Craig's shoulder and gently pushed the grate forward and it hit the floor on the other side with an ear-splitting clang. Craig moved through the opening quickly, to get away from Rick and his irritating need to be close.

The rapid change in light made Craig squint, but as soon as the spots left his vision, he could see they were in one of the control rooms. This was where scientists supposedly observed test subjects while they ran the testing track. Craig tried to focus his gaze just beyond the blurred glass, but it was headache-inducing. There was a desk and a set of computers with big wide monitors. He inspected them carefully, it seemed like they still worked!

Rick hung back and watched Craig curiously pore over the room he'd brought him to. This place was uninteresting to Rick, but he figured the former Fact Sphere would appreciate being somewhere where he could read up on his favorite thing. Craig seemed pretty fascinated trying to figure out how to start the computers up. Rick pulled up a chair and sat in it, leaning back with his hands behind his head.

It was several silent minutes before Craig turned away from the glowing screen to look at Rick, who looked like he was half asleep. Craig realized that Rick must sleep a lot more than he did and this was the time he normally had to sleep. He didn't like the warm feeling that bubbled up in his chest, or the sudden stab of guilt that followed it.

"Why did we come here?" Craig asked suddenly, making Rick's eyes snap back open.

He yawned loudly, "I thought you'd like it, you don't like it here?" he asked.

Craig was silent for a moment before he said anything, "You don't have to stay here, you can go to sleep…"

"Nah, I like being around you when you look like that," Rick dismissed with a sleepy grin.

"Like what?" Craig asked with a suspicious tone.

"Happy," Rick chuckled.

Craig turned full-on scarlet this time and he awkwardly turned back to the flickering monitor. He wasn't sure what to say to that, but Rick was right. This was the closest he'd been to feeling happy since he'd been a personality sphere. Craig felt his face getting warmer as he realized that maybe a few hundred years with only the spheres Space and Fact had rubbed a little bit off on Rick. Craig assumed Rick didn't know anything about anyone, but it seemed he was wrong: Obviously Rick knew something about _him._

Rick grinned even after Craig turned away. He knew he was getting to the stuffy man and that was exactly what he had planned. He almost forgot he'd discovered this room until he pulled the panel off of the wall. Now Rick was going to see if Craig could maintain a chilly exterior while Rick was being so thoughtful. He pulled his chair up next to Craig's, making it seem like he just wanted to see what he was looking at. A long train of numbers passed across the screen; Rick couldn't decipher it, but Craig was staring at the screen, though not completely focused.

Rick leaned his elbow on the table and set his chin in his hand, "Penny for your thoughts, gorgeous."

Craig almost jumped when Rick spoke again, but he shook his head, "T-that's absurd, you don't even have a penny. They were outlawed by cowboys a millennia ago."

"Fine, I'll trade you a question if you tell me what's on your mind," Rick offered with a lopsided grin.

"What could you possible tell me that I'd care about?" Craig said, sounding significantly less frigid than he could have.

"I'm sure you can think of something," Rick said airily.

"Y-you scare me," Craig blurted.

Rick blinked a couple of times before reacting, but then he sat up and outright laughed, "Sweetheart, I wouldn't hurt you or nothing."

"You have, and you could," Craig said quietly, sounding oddly bitter.

"Oh, you mean—"

"Yes," Craig interrupted brusquely, "That is what I mean."

Rick chewed on his lip for a moment, pondering the consequences of that… 'Altercation' they had the last time they had met. He'd lost his temper and done something stupid it seemed. He was genuinely sorry he ever did that now; the look on Craig's face said he wasn't lying even a little. Craig had said something insensitive, too, but Rick recalled he'd tried to apologize. He looked scared, now that he thought about it…

"I wouldn't ever again," Rick said, "Not like you reacted, I was instantly sorry I did anything to scare you. I'm sorry, angel."

Craig was studying his face with a critical eye for several moments. Rick stared back, doing his best to make his bright green eyes seem kinder, instead of intimidating and strong like he'd normally go for. There was something bothering Craig; that much was obvious, but Rick didn't know what. It went deeper than the tiff they had last time.

"Why do you do that?" Craig asked finally.

"Do what?" Rick joked, "Be handsome?"

Craig rolled his eyes, "Fine, different question. You didn't answer what I asked before the testing began again. Why were you willing to stay?"

"I think I kinda like ya," Rick said without hesitating.

Craig scoffed, "We've fought for centuries and I made a point of calling you every rude name in my database and you think you like me?"

"Don't believe me?" Rick feigned a hurt tone.

"Of course I don't believe you. Chances you're lying are 63%," Craig retorted flatly.

"Well that last 27% is going to throw you for a loop, beautiful," Rick laughed.

"Why?" Craig asked, frowning suddenly.

"You're a real piece of work, yanno? You can piss me off to a damn boiling point one second, then the next, you make that," he gestured, "damn face and all I want to do is make it better. I remember when we were spheres, it was the same then. You make me stupid-mad, make me so mad that I want to tear you up, but then you look so scared that I just want to protect you."

Craig's mouth hung open slightly after Rick finished speaking. He wasn't sure what to say again, he was dumbstruck. Rick laughed again, but Craig couldn't figure out for the life of him what was so funny.

"That'll shut you up, huh? Good to know," Rick said with another laugh, "It's the second time you've been speechless, sweetheart!"

Craig fumed and switched the computer off suddenly. He carefully got out of his seat and started to head out of the vent. Rick quickly got up to head after him, but he'd already turned the wrong way. Shit! He was going to head into the turret shooting range—Rick suddenly heard the sounds of shots being fired. He was already too late. He scrambled through the passageway, heading toward his normal haunt: the turret proving grounds.

He saw the forgotten grate cover on the ground and looked around for the inevitable pool of blood. There wasn't one. He also realized that the shooting had stopped. Maybe he'd gotten out alive? Rick cast his glance around and saw a spare turret side-panel lying on the ground. He cautiously walked over and picked it up.

"I seeeee you," he heard, causing him to look up right into the bloody red optic of a posed turret, "Dispensing product."

Suddenly, the optic stopped glowing and its side-panels closed impotently. Rick started breathing again, that was freaking close! He got closer to the now useless turret and saw that most of its circuitry had been tampered with. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his head, he was almost a goner!

"You're an idiot, had you been a second sooner, you'd be dead," Rick heard Craig say.

He was standing a few feet behind the turret, tapping a screwdriver in his hand. Rick was suddenly dumbstruck himself, what in the world…

"Seems I'm not as helpless as you like to think," Craig sneered, approaching Rick to point the screwdriver at his chest, "That's a fact."

Rick stared for a moment, still surprised, but he suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter. Craig frowned; he'd been working very hard to make it so they didn't die in this room, and now Rick was laughing at him? Just who did this buffoon think he was? He dropped the screwdriver away from Rick.

"And what is so funny?" Craig asked, clearly annoyed.

"I could never have come up with that, did you think of that?" Rick cried through the abrupt peals of laughter, "That was the work of a genius, sweetheart! Best one-liner I've heard here!"

Craig didn't understand what in the hell he was blathering on about. He stared at Rick bent over in laughter with an unsure glare.

Rick finally got a hold of himself and laid a heavy hand on Craig's shoulder, "If you're not so helpless, you can handle me just fine, promise."

Craig brushed Rick's hand off of his shoulder and made for the exit, "If I wanted to 'handle' you, I assure you I would. You're mistaken if you think I want to."

Rick opened his mouth, but quickly shut it again. That was kind of hurtful, now that he thought about it. He wasn't used to rejection; it hadn't ever happened to him before! Craig didn't look back for a second as he crawled into the passageway.

"Are you going to show me the way back, or do I have to find it myself?" Craig called over his shoulder.

"Where did you find the screwdriver?" Rick suddenly asked as he jogged toward the duct and crawled inside after Craig.

"Where did you find the rope?" Craig said simply with a flippant shrug.

Rick paused for a moment, "Do you want me to show you?" he said finally.

Craig almost turned around to face Rick in disbelief, "Yes, actually, I do."

"Turn right instead of left then, then take a right," Rick said, staying close so he didn't lose the other man, but far enough away to be respectful.

Craig followed the instructions until they reached a small alcove that was dimly lit by a huge grate guarding a fan that chopped the light every so often. It created a breeze and made Craig's skin seize up into goose bumps. There were stacks upon stacks of slightly rusted cans and big plastic jugs marked 'water.' It appeared to be a makeshift supply room. Craig was very sure that this place wasn't Aperture sanctioned, looking around at the pitiful state of it.

Rick picked up one of the water jugs and shook out its contents. Instead of water, a length of rope fell out and curled onto the floor. It didn't have the hook that Craig saw previously on the rail toward his Relaxation Chamber, which relieved him in a strange way. Rick shrugged at Craig as if to say 'well, there you go.'

"Do… do you mind?" Craig asked, stooping down to pick the rope up.

"Mind what there?"

"I'd like to keep it… for… research purposes," Craig said, coming up with the thinnest excuse immediately.

"Sure thing, this place ain't mine. Keep what you like," Rick said with a shrug.

Craig stared up at the taller man for a moment, trying to decipher something from his expression. He righted himself and coiled the rope as best he could. He wasn't entirely sure why he wanted the length of rope, but it seemed interesting enough to him. He reasoned that it would be something to entertain himself in the days that he was feeling well enough to want to be entertained. He thought he could remember knots or something about ropes. He put the coiled rope in his jumpsuit pocket.

"Sailors made up their own system of knots to prevent pilots from copying them," Craig muttered with a content grin.

"What was that?" Rick asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Nothing," Craig said immediately, "Can you take me back now?"

"Eh, sure thing," Rick said, sounding quite a bit less chipper than he had been.

Craig finally noticed; though he couldn't divine why Rick was acting that way. This was exploring, an adventure, if one would call it such. Shouldn't he be having the time of his little programmed life? Rick didn't say anything as he led the way back to the Storage Strait. Craig didn't either; he was simply observing, trying to figure out what had changed. For research purposes, of course.

Rick seemed almost upset about something. Had Craig disassembled his favorite turret or something equally asinine? No, it seemed to be something different than a simple matter of reassembling a broken turret. Rick seemed almost disappointed. Were his reward responses not working for his adventuring? Perhaps he was experiencing the same crushing realization that Craig had many weeks prior: He wasn't going to be a personality core again for a very long time. That wasn't quite cohesive with previous observations. He had seemed vivacious and more or less full of energy. This was puzzling to Craig, whose scientific mind couldn't even build a good hypothesis.

Rick pulled on the rope leading up to the next rail experimentally. He seemed satisfied with the sturdy hold it had. He looked over at Craig, who was staring at him for some reason.

"What? Got something on my face?" he asked, rubbing his chin.

"No, you're acting strangely. This behavior is different than your normal demeanor," Craig said, trying to sound as stiff as possible.

"It's nothing," Rick said, scratching the back of his neck.

"The chances that you're lying are 99%. Surprisingly high for you," Craig said, crossing his arms.

"See here, Pinky, don't you go accusing me of fibbing unless you actually give a shit!" Rick shouted, suddenly angry.

Craig was taken aback by the sudden amount of rage, "I-I didn't mean…"

"Forget it," Rick said, turning quickly on his heel and walking toward the edge of his Relaxation chamber.

Craig panicked for a moment, forgetting that it was one of the chambers they were standing on. He thought Rick had gotten so mad that he was going jump! Craig tried to chase after him after a moment of open-mouthed shock.

"W-wait!" he called, trying to catch up to Rick.

Rick ignored him and jumped off the side, getting a weird noise from Craig who tried to catch his jumpsuit unsuccessfully. Craig landed with a thud just over the edge of the Relaxation chamber. He managed to catch his glasses before they fell off of his face. He saw Rick safely land on the rail walkway without any trouble. Craig gaped for a moment; he was so damn sure of himself that he was willing to jump off his relaxation chamber! He was a reckless fool! Craig was speechless until he heard the door to Rick's chamber slam.

Craig pulled himself off of the ground and dusted off the front of his jumpsuit. He turned around to go back to his own chamber, only to be greeted by the length of rope. He stared up at the climb, trying to assess how likely he'd be able to get up to the top. He knew he couldn't. He sighed and removed his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. He replaced his glasses and gripped the rope. He didn't have any other choice but to try to get back to his bed. He took a deep breath and hoisted himself up. He instinctively wrapped his legs around the rope and pulled himself up a little more. He was pretty impressed with himself that he was getting this far!

Craig's arms were shaking and his forehead was glistening with sweat. He managed to pull himself up again with a set of shaking shoulders. He moved to pull himself up again with a strained groan, but he lost his grip and came tumbling down the entire way he managed to pull himself up. He landed hard on his left foot and immediately crumpled to the ground with a cry of pain.

Craig gripped his ankle. It was throbbing; Craig's mind immediately ran through the things he knew about injuries. Lacerations were caused when someone threw daggers with their eyes; broken bones could be prevented by a diet of milk and solid titanium; sprains took time and rest to heal, now that he thought of it. Craig winced as his ankle throbbed again; he didn't really have that option, considering he couldn't get back up to his Relaxation Chamber.

He looked around at his options and—of course! He did his best to stand up on his one leg and limped over to the loose panel that Rick had shown him before he'd thrown a fit. It pulled away surprisingly easily and he dragged himself through the cramped hallway toward the observation room. The dim light was still bright; Craig sat himself down. Now he just had to wait until his ankle healed enough to walk again… then he could figure something out.


	5. Chapter 5

Craig fell asleep on the desk eventually, his arms crossed to cradle his head. He woke up some time later suddenly to find that his ankle hurt less than it had. With that glad information, he foraged around in the unorthodox storage room where Rick had found his claw and rope contraption. He found some food and water there and then trekked back to the observation room. He flipped the computer on and began reading some of the older Aperture testing chamber reports, where he left off the last time.

He read for several hours, noting how the past test subjects had failed and the perceived reasons for their failure. He finally hit a patch of test chambers that had been successfully solved by one test subject. It was describing the subject's lack of fear and over-all dogged drive to survive. It even talked about how he had been shot by the defense turrets several times, but still managed to get to the lift and then even solved the next chamber. Craig found these interesting, being a test subject himself, so he pulled up the test subject's file to see how they had ranked him initially.

The file took a moment to load, but when the subject's picture loaded, Craig nearly dropped his mouse. He fumbled with it for a moment before he could fully register what he was seeing. He saw the bright green eyes and the short brown hair of the body that the Adventure Sphere inhabited right now! He had that same damn cocky grin, along with the familiar glint of mischievousness in his eyes. Craig knew the both of them had picked from previous employees, but he didn't realize Rick had chosen a former test subject instead of regular personnel. He quickly scrolled down to the rest of the profile, noting that he had tested with average intelligence, but above average resourcefulness and very high survival instinct. That wasn't surprising for Rick, but it was a bit uncanny for him to have chosen that same behavior from a body he'd only seen. Craig hadn't read their files beforehand, he wasn't allowed. He assumed Rick wouldn't have even wanted to bother with the facts.

He kept reading, finding that this was one of the last volunteer subjects before Aperture switched to testing on scientists and other regular employees. He had been a part of the cooperative testing while it was still in human testing rounds. It was noted that he'd gotten abnormally close to his scientist test partner, which eventually led to both of them being put under cryo-stasis. Craig clicked on the partner's file and patiently waited for it to load.

When the picture finally appeared on the screen, Craig really did drop his mouse now, "…There is no way."

Rick was ridiculously grumpy when he got back to his Relaxation Chamber. He didn't like being grumpy, but that pompous ass just made him so mad! Where the hell did he get off being so… so…. Rick didn't even know how to describe what Craig had been acting like, he was that mad. He flopped down on his bed and attempted to fall asleep.

He woke with a start when the automated voice began to tell him the next testing circuit was ready for him, "I'm up, I'm up, quit yer hollerin'" he grumbled at the ceiling.

He pulled himself out of bed and waited for instructions. He was only urged to step into the testing lift. What? No portal gun? No equipment at all? That was weird. He did as he was instructed and stepped into the little tube that would take him to the testing sphere. He groggily rubbed his eyes as the glass doors shut.

"Humans, how sad they are. Even if they were once A.I." a voice boomed over the loudspeaker.

Rick's eyes snapped open; that wasn't the normal voice. It… was GLaDOS, he suddenly remembered. Oh shit, that wasn't good at all. He didn't respond, but immediately began looking for a way to get out of the speeding lift.

"Don't bother, I've sealed you inside," GLaDOS offered, "You'll get the same treatment for trying to escape as any other test subject. Pity, I had such _high_ hopes for you. Such a high functioning test subject, even after your sad little life ended. Good bye."

GLaDOS' voice faded away and Rick was starting to panic. Oh shit, oh shit, she thought he was trying to escape all of those times he went exploring! He banged his fists on the glass and found that it was sealed tight, tighter than he could have ever pried apart. Suddenly, the lift shuddered to a stop and the top of the elevator creaked open. Rick looked up, swearing up a storm. He realized he'd been attached to some kind of spout. He heard some dramatic creaking and suddenly he was doused with freezing cold water. He was going to drown in here! He kicked the glass doors as hard as he could, but only made the blast covering on the outside shift. He doubted he had anything to do with that; that sadistic bitch wanted him to see what he was leaving. She _knew, _she knew that he was aware!

He could see one of the testing chambers outside. It was one he'd solved not too long ago, he realized as the lights started to flicker on. He tried to kick the doors out again; he didn't have any other options! The water was quickly filling up the tube and he was starting to lose footing. Shit! He didn't want to go like this, there weren't any explosions!


	6. Chapter 6

Craig was still in a bit of shock over what he just read, but he didn't have long to be surprised by it. There was suddenly a lot of flashing symbols all over the screen blaring security breaches and hacker alerts. Craig sat back from the computer, confused at why it was doing such a thing, when he realized that the lights in the testing chamber had been turned on. He could suddenly see everything in the chamber. He saw some movement toward the solution of the test and adjusted his glasses so he could see it clearer. He realized there was a testing lift at the bottom of a very large water dispensing spigot. He leaned in closer, trying to see why it might have been stuck… It appeared there was something inside the… Oh god no!

Craig didn't even stop to think about why or how Rick was inside of the lift. Right now the only important thing was how in the hell to get him out so he didn't drown! Craig pulled himself back up to the computer and started quickly tapping away, banishing the hacker alerts first and then hacking into the laser mainframe. He furiously tapped out codes and bypassed security checks until he summoned one of the huge wall-square cutting lasers to this chamber. He heard some crashing and suddenly the glass from the observation room was shattered into a million pieces, accompanied by a bright red laser. Craig quickly covered his face as the shards went flying across the room. Shit! Wrong direction!

He tapped out some more codes as fast as he could, peeking outside of the observation room occasionally. The laser soon moved to the top of the transport tube, causing small cracks along both the surface of the glass and the rings of steel that held it together. Suddenly, Craig heard a huge explosion and he immediately shut off the laser from his computer. He ran to the window and saw Rick's now prone form being washed away with the water and huge shards of glass.

Craig hadn't been issued long-fall boots, much to the chagrin of his ankle, but he didn't have time to think about it. He jumped from the observation room and rolled onto the floor, almost like he'd meant to do it. He stumbled trying to stand and run at the same time, falling on his knees next to Rick. He immediately summoned up his knowledge of CPR and shook Rick's shoulder helplessly.

"Get up, you fool! Get up!" he cried, before moving onto the next step.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before he felt along Rick's collar for his pulse. He still had one! Craig breathed a sorry thanks to whatever deity would listen before he leaned down to see if he was breathing. Nothing.

"Oh no, oh no no…," Craig mumbled, "Okay… Two breaths, thirty chest compressions."

Craig did his best to put Rick in a flat position and tilted his chin up. He pressed his nose closed and took a deep breath before giving Rick the two necessary breaths. Craig immediately rose up and arranged his hands to being chest compressions, but Rick began to cough and sputter. Craig panicked for a moment before helping tilt Rick to the side, letting him cough up whatever he needed to. Craig couldn't bring himself to look; he found it surprising he even had the nerve to do any of that!

Rick suddenly took a long gasping breath and Craig tried to help him sit up. He was breathing on his own, Craig couldn't be more thankful. He hadn't even thought about why Rick needed to survive, he just knew he couldn't let him die like that.

"Are you alright?" Craig said, feeling overly worried.

"Just fucking peachy," Rick gasped before he realized who was talking to him.

There was suddenly a buzzer, making them both look up, "Deploying defense turrets in 3…"

Craig swore something colorful under his breath. Something was going on and it wasn't looking good for either of them. He stood up and tried to pull Rick to his feet by putting the heavier man's arm over his shoulder. With a little bit of effort, Craig managed to get himself and Rick through the exit of the test chamber before the laser-guided turrets found them. There was obviously no lift to take them back, but now was as good a time as any to figure out why in the hell Rick was about to drown like that!

"You seem stable enough," Craig noted, helping the heavily breathing Rick lean against the wall, "May I inquire as to what the hell happened? You almost died!"

Rick managed to give a sad chuckle, "You'd like that wouldn't you. Then I wouldn't bother you anymore, huh, Pinky?"

Craig was in complete indignant shock, "What in android hell do you mean by that?"

"Oh like you don't know. Now you're some snake in the grass again! Playing with other people's feelings, you're just cruel!" Rick gasped.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I am no snake, nor do I _'play'_ with anyone," Craig snapped.

Rick coughed several times before he answered again, "And I really thought you were warming up to me, Pinky. Didn't say any damn thing when I called you 'beautiful' or 'angel' that time, had to be all freaking cute when I showed you that damn computer, you go and try to prove you're not helpless, all for what? Just to stab me right where it hurts, huh?"

Craig paused this time. He hadn't said anything about the stupid pet names Rick favored so much, had he? He did remember being embarrassed that Rick pointed out how he looked happy when he was as close connected with a database as he could be. Then… Rick said something about being able to 'handle' him just fine. Craig frowned. He wasn't sure what to think anymore. He remembered the darkened expression on Rick's face and then the way he stormed off without a care.

"You didn't have to leave me there," Craig said finally, "I couldn't get back up without your help…"

"Yeah? Well, I didn't reckon you wanted my help," Rick said, still angry.

"You knew I couldn't do that on my own. I can blame getting injured on you!" Craig said, getting fired up again.

"You what?" Rick said, stopping to breathe again.

"I tried to do it; I fell off of your ridiculous rope! I had to drag myself back to the observation room, which I suppose I shouldn't have, because all I did was see your sorry face again! You almost got yourself killed!" Craig shouted, slapping his hand into Rick's shoulder, "I thought you were going to die, you buffoon! You almost gave me a heart attack when you weren't breathing!"

"Why did you help me then? You could have left me there, yanno!" Rick shouted back.

"I couldn't let you die like that; I'm not that kind of person!" Craig said, gritting his teeth, "Even if you abandoned me, I didn't want you to die!"

Rick paused again, unsure of how to respond, "I'm sorry."

"Now we're both in danger because you had to—Wait, what?" Craig started off on his rant before stopping to think about what Rick said.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I shouldn'ta left you there," Rick said, taking another labored breath, "I really meant it. I let my temper get the better'a me."

"I—well, it's just…," Craig sputtered.

"Thanks for looking out for me, too," Rick said, attempted a lopsided smile, "You saved my life right then."

Craig gaped for a moment; he didn't expect an apology and thanks after all of this. He wasn't sure what he expected at all, but now he wasn't sure how to react. Why did Rick have to do this to him? He was speechless, _again. _Craig blew his bangs out of his face in a frustrated manner, but then an alarm sounded again, jolting them both back to reality.

"We have to get out of here," Craig said in a low tone, "Chances that we're about to be attacked in the next thirty seconds are 100%"


	7. Chapter 7

Rick glanced around the shabby looking lift room. The screens were completely off and there was a lot of loose material hanging around, but he wasn't familiar with the area, so he didn't know what would lead them where. Craig's mind seemed to work a lot faster than Rick's was allowing; Craig had already ripped apart a piece of the wall with a grunt. He waved over to Rick quickly and disappeared inside the small space.

Rick followed slowly behind. He was still recovering, but he heard the turret's alarm sound, so he knew he didn't have too many seconds to waste. He crawled into the hole in the wall that Craig made, trying to keep up as best he could. Craig was making a pretty good effort for making it look like he knew where he was going, but he really had no clue. He finally turned a corner and found another of those strange off-the-path storage rooms. He scrambled inside and scanned the room, looking for an exit, or supplies, anything that would help them!

Rick stumbled into the room just after Craig, surprised he'd found one of these so quickly. Craig was in the corner, pulling some things out of the vent. Rick leaned against one of the walls and slowly slid down to the floor. It was only then that he realized he was shivering from the cold water that had nearly killed him; the dead, unmoving air in this room didn't help either. Rick tried to wrap his arms around himself, but it only made him feel colder. Craig came back with some cans and put them on the floor before he noticed that Rick was starting to suffer from hypothermia. Oh no, the last time Craig worried about this…

"Are you… are you alright?" Craig asked tentatively.

"Jus' cold, angel," Rick mumbled, feeling tired all of a sudden.

"No!" Craig cried as Rick's eyes began to droop, "Stay awake, don't you fall asleep!"

Rick's eyes snapped open when Craig yelled at him, but Craig had already left his side. He was feeling a bit delirious now that the adrenaline was wearing off. He wanted to fall asleep now, for a very long time, but Craig came back with something Rick couldn't make out.

"Take off your jumpsuit," Craig commanded.

"Well, damn. You want to be that blunt about it," Rick laughed weakly.

Craig reddened, "Now isn't the time, now hurry up!"

Rick tried to raise one hand to the zipper on his jumpsuit, but he didn't make it. He was too tired for that, why would he get naked now? Craig sighed in exasperation and unzipped Rick's jumpsuit for him. He had a hard time pushing his arms though the sleeves, but he finally got the jumpsuit off of him, pulled off his boots, and wrapped the blanket he found around his body. This wasn't the ideal spot to try to help him recuperate, but it was all they had. Craig sat for a moment, waiting with apprehension for Rick to stop shivering. That time didn't come.

Craig ran through all the facts that survived his human mind about hypothermia. He knew that seals and whales were immune to it, because they had a thick layer of mayonnaise under their skin, but that wasn't helpful at all. He knew that most common earthworms were thermaphrodites; though that had nothing to do with this situation. This was a life-or-death situation and he wasn't entirely sure what to do!

Craig got up and shook Rick's shoulders. If anyone knew what to do about this, it was probably him. Rick didn't stir for a moment, so Craig full on slapped him in the face. Rick woozily opened his eyes at the stinging pain in his face.

"Whazzat?" he asked.

"What does an adventurer do for hypothermia?" Craig demanded quickly.

"You get the victim naked," Rick said, which Craig had already done, "Lay 'em close to the fire you built and then you get naked and share body heat, yehsee?"

That was not the answer Craig was hoping for. He one, didn't have a fire, and two had no desire to be naked right now. Instead of a fire, he was sure one of the vents in this storage room would expel heat, so he got Rick to move over to that vent. The hard part was getting up the courage to do the second part. He would do alright without that, wouldn't he? Craig observed his hypothermia patient and found that he was still shivering. Dammit, Craig thought, there really wasn't any other way.

After carefully placing Rick's wet jumpsuit next to the heated vent, Craig took his own jumpsuit and boots off and folded it neatly beside the wet one. He huffed with a little bit of nervous apprehension and climbed under the blanket with Rick, getting quite a shock from touching Rick's cold skin. Being on a metal floor didn't help him, but this was the best Craig could do. He'd already risked life and limb trying to save this so-called adventurer; he might as well see it through. With that thought, he lay down and waited for Rick to hopefully recover.


	8. Chapter 8

Craig must have fallen into some merciful sleep eventually, but when he woke, Rick wasn't there. He sat up in a hurry and scanned the room for _his_ presence. Craig's half-hypothermic companion was gone and so was his jumpsuit, thankfully without a big puddle in its place. That meant it was dry, but… Craig looked down at himself and reddened. Oh right, he was still… less than clothed. He felt around for his glasses that he didn't remember taking off and found them on top of the pile of his clothing. He threw them on and picked up his jumpsuit.

Even while better sighted, Craig couldn't see where Rick had gotten to. He pulled his jumpsuit on underneath of the blanket and quickly zipped it up. He pulled on his last boot when he heard a noise. He froze, trying to assess if it was a threat or possibly Rick. He was afraid to call out, so he silently crawled behind a box for safety. He heard a pair of loud boots hitting the floor of the storage room, so he peeked over the edge of one of the storage cubes. He saw a perturbed looking Rick searching the area for who Craig could assume was him.

He suddenly remembered the information that he'd stumbled across. He wasn't sure what to do with it. Did it matter to Rick that he inhabited the body of one of the last test subjects? Would it matter if he never knew? More importantly, the test subject's partner… Craig realized that he was letting Rick think he disappeared. He glanced back up at him; Rick was still searching for him.

"I'm here," Craig said, standing up behind the storage cube, "I thought you might have been… something else."

Rick whipped around and gripped Craig's shoulders very tightly, "You scared me, you git! I leave for half a sec and thought you left me behind!"

Craig winced at the force he was using on his shoulders, "Fact: You seem better."

Rick was quiet for a second, staring at Craig for a heavy moment that Craig couldn't decipher. He let go and sat down on the storage cube Craig had been hiding behind. Rick was getting the sinking feeling that he had doomed them both, now that Craig had gone and helped him a second and third time. He didn't even know how in the hell Craig got him out of that tube, but now he had to make sure that Craig was safe. It was his fault that GLaDOS was coming after them.

"…Why were you in that tube?" Craig asked after a while, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy with Rick, no matter how strangely he was acting.

Rick ran his hand through his hair and leaned forward on his knees, "Well, the boss-lady thinks I was trying to make a break for it. She said somethin' or another about giving me the same treatment any other subject'd get."

Craig frowned; the way that Rick was making it sound, GLaDOS was mistaken in believing he was trying to escape. He had spent quite a lot of time outside of his relaxation chamber… It dawned on him that because Rick had so forcefully dragged him out of his own relaxation chamber, he was in the same boat now. That was likely why he got a lot of hacker alerts on the desktop he was searching in.

After a moment's thought, Craig couldn't say he was upset with Rick for doing that. He had come across a lot of knowledge because Rick had basically kidnapped him and now he knew more than he ever thought he needed to about both of their bodies. Craig glanced at Rick, who looked downright morose. He tentatively laid a hand on Rick's shoulder, who immediately looked up at him with a frown.

"Analysis of the situation leads me to believe we should get out of the facility," Craig said slowly, "I believe that with both of our skills, we should be successful."

"I don't know this place terribly well, it's impossible. We've been in a goddamn box for who knows how long!" Rick protested.

Craig started to get annoyed. Wasn't it his place to be the pessimistic one? What a switch that was; one that Craig was not going to get used to. Even if they didn't know the facility very well… Craig had an idea of who might.

"I have an idea, but you have to trust me," Craig said quickly.

Rick stared at him disbelieving for a moment, "I'm listenin.'"

Craig sighed, "I found some… helpful information. You… You're inhabiting the body of one of the last volunteer test subjects. I think if we can jog some of the memories in your body's brain, we'll have a better chance of getting out of here."

He was leaving out a lot of big pieces of information, but none of them were important right now; not as far as Craig could see, anyway. He stared at Rick expectantly, whose expression hadn't changed from the second he started speaking. Rick ran both his hands through his hair again and stared at the floor.

"Didja happen to catch the name on that file?" he asked slowly.

Craig thought back to the file and realized he hadn't. He had been to off-put by the fact that Rick's body had been something of a milestone, let alone the other bits of information he'd found out. He shook his head and Rick ground his teeth with anxiety.

"Alright, confession time," Rick said, "His name was Richard Ames; I know that because I already got back all the memories and junk. He… well, Rick Ames was me before I got downloaded into a damned tin ball."

Craig's eyes widened and his jaw hung open. This entire time that he thought he'd found out something incredible and unknown, Rick had known the entire time! Craig gaped for a few moments more before he said anything. He suddenly had a sinking feeling that Rick knew more than he did and that wasn't a comfortable feeling at all.

"H-how… long did you know?" Craig asked with a low voice.

"You want the truth or fiction?" Rick asked with something that sounded like mirth.

"The truth, always," Craig frowned.

"It started just after the first time I got too bored to stay in my room and went exploring 'after hours.' It was that first time I came across a little waif of a guy trying to decide if the vaporizing liquid would be kinder to him," Rick said, shaking his head, "It didn't get much better after that. Everything aboutcha and every damn movement I made brought back something like… that thing where you think know something, but you don't?"

"Déjà vu?" Craig supplied.

"Yeah, that. It wasn't for a while that I remembered everything… I knew it all right before the last I saw ya," he finished, avoiding Craig's gaze.

Something dawned on Craig, "Then you know about mine…"

"I know more than that, honey," Rick said, shaking his head, "How much do you remember?"

Craig chewed on his lip for a moment, unsure how to answer. Rick seemed to think that Craig had the same amount of recollection of this body he did. Craig wasn't sure what he was insinuating in the least, but the pieces were starting to pull themselves together. Something large and horrible was looming right over the edge of his understanding and he immediately tried to force that logic back down. It didn't want to stay there.

"Oh god," Craig said, suddenly stumbling against the wall, "You don't mean to tell me…"

Suddenly, it made a lot of sense. He only fell asleep when he hated himself, but he was so convinced that his body had some kind of chemical imbalance. He felt the most connected with his body when he was feeling a crippling self-loathing. The fear response when Rick got angry with him, that was all residual memories, not just something the body knew but Craig did not. It was something traumatic that Craig's mind blocked out years, _decades_ ago. Craig started to gasp as bits of information came back to him. He didn't have it all, but it was there, it was fucking _there._

"No, this is impossible," Craig breathed, "The possibility that we both…"

"Craig," Rick said suddenly, standing and turning to face the panicking man, "It's… Look, I don't know how to explain that shit, okay? Please, cool your jets."

Craig whipped off his glasses and mopped his face with his hand. He had a layer of cold sweat across his forehead, like he just had a nightmare. He could feel the memories trying to break into his conscious mind, but he was doing everything in his weak human-bodied power to prevent it.

Rick frowned and stepped around the storage cube to approach Craig who looked like he might have a meltdown right then and there. Craig put out his free hand to try to halt him, but Rick pushed his arm aside and swept Craig up into a tight embrace.

"You always put on a brave face, you tried to be such a trooper," Rick whispered to him, "I ain't gonna lose you again."

Craig swore as he felt hot tears pricking at his eyes. He used all of his limited strength to shove Rick off of him and dashed away with a choked sob. NO, this wasn't right; this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He was born an A.I. not a human, he wasn't ever human! This was all a _lie._ Craig stumbled out of the storage room and crumpled right on the spot, sobbing into the cold, unfeeling metal of the rail walkway.


	9. Chapter 9

It felt like an hour or more before Craig finally accepted what was going on. He wasn't happy about it, but there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He was sitting on the edge of a broken walkway with his legs dangling over the edge when Rick came to check on him. Craig didn't even look up when Rick sat down next to him.

"Can we start over now?" Rick said with a lopsided grin.

Craig buried his face in his hands when he saw Rick offer his hand again.

"Rick Ames, at your service."

Craig looked up at him sadly, but took his hand anyway, "Craig Schwartz."

"Do you remember everything now?" Rick asked tentatively, not letting go of Craig's hand.

"I-I think so. Tell… tell me your story, just so I know it's real."

Rick sighed and ran his other hand through his hair, "Well, I was born in a big family with a bunch of little brothers and sisters. My dad died young and my momma wasn't doing so well, so we worked a lot to make ends meet, but I heard of a place that was accepting just any guy with two feet and half a brain for some testing stuff. I wasn't keen on it at first, but once I found out it was just running around some obstacle courses and jumpin' some hoops, it wasn't so hard. I needed the money to send back home, and I did, but someone decided I was damn good at what I did. I started getting volunteered for a whole slew of testin' tracks and breezed right through them, if only because I wanted to see my family again. I saw a whole lotta guys die in the middle of testing, but I got up and carried on, leadin' to me being the one of the last subjects."

Craig swallowed, realizing that Rick was gripping his hand kind of tightly at the end of his story, "Then?"

"Well, some kind of partner test showed up and they were sure I wasn't gonna survive that, so o'course that's what they sign me up for. They thought that I'd be too bull-headed to work well with one of the geeks in the science lab, so they suited me up with a partner… that'd be you," Rick said in a rush, "We fought at first, quite a helluva lot, but you were a decent guy who looked out for me, just like I tried to watch your tail. We actually made it through the testing track in one piece, so they decided they were going to freeze us for later experimentation."

Craig frowned as he realized all of that sounded completely accurate. There was something missing, he thought; a lot of things missing, now that he was focusing and aware of the story.

"Where did all the 'adventure' stories come from?" Craig asked with a half-smile.

"Hah! Letters I wrote to the little ankle-biters at home," Rick said with a laugh, "They got a kick out of it, even as they got a bit older."

Rick sounded decidedly bittersweet about the memories of his siblings. Craig felt bad about bringing it up at all. It sounded like something a devoted big brother would do; fabricating big stories for the younger ones so they were equally impressed and unworried about him.

"There's something fuzzy in between the end of the testing track and the cryo-stasis," Craig said, shaking his head to try to summon the memories again.

Rick scratched the back of his neck, "Maybe it's better you forget all that, angel. Now, tell me what you remember?"

"Nothing quite so heartwarming or interesting," Craig waved off, "Only child of a biochemist and a nuclear physicist. I was doomed for science from the start, so I got into chemistry, just like my dad. I focused on my studies and got into the best schools and got all the best offers for jobs, so I landed at Aperture, when it was at the peak of its prime, but that quickly went downhill from there. My department was decided unimportant, so my colleagues and I were among the first scientists to be thrown on the testing track. Now that you mention being stuck together with someone they thought you'd fail with, I think they specifically tested for that person and it was me."

Rick snorted; it didn't surprise him in the least. He could be grateful for it now. He still clutched at Craig's hand, happy that he didn't snatch it away like he thought he might.

"Well, I remember something after the end of the testing track," Craig said pressing his hand against his forehead, "We… had an argument, but I can't remember about what."

Rick shook his head and let go of Craig's hand, "Whelp, I can't keep it a secret for too much longer."

Craig frowned; he didn't like the sound of that. He felt like he was missing some big details that he should know about himself.

"We got into it because I was trying to keep something from you, so I was an outright dick to you to make it stay that way," Rick said with a heavy sigh, "You got pretty mad because you thought we were friends, but I wasn't acting like anything more than any other asshole who gave you hell."

That triggered something in Craig's mind. He suddenly recalled being heckled a lot for being short and stand-offish. He never had friends because he was too busy studying and whenever he corrected colleagues or potential friends, they made a point of proving him wrong. They thought he was snob and treated him like dirt, now that Rick mentioned it. Craig had overcompensated for their taunts, becoming more arrogant and spouted all sorts of information like it was the new scripture, ignoring their truthfulness. Hell, Craig realized he even acted that way now.

"Oh," Craig said pointlessly, "If my calculations are correct, it's several centuries later. Is it still a secret worth keeping?"

Craig remembered being pretty hurt when Rick was a jerk to him. He couldn't quite remember what he said… but he was quickly discovering that his mind wasn't completely recovered yet. He had a feeling that if the memories had flood back sooner, there would be more triggers to recover all the loose ends. Craig glanced over at the uncharacteristically silent Rick; the typically obnoxious 'adventurer' wasn't looking back at him. Craig wondered if Rick hadn't heard him.

"I dunno," Rick said finally, "I really dunno. Maybe you can tell me."

Craig pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose; he felt like he was missing something very big here. He wasn't feeling the dim awareness that he might if his previous memories could tell him. He waited expectantly for Rick to supply the information he'd need to 'tell him' if it was a worthwhile secret, but his former test partner was silent. Rick slid closer to Craig, carefully keeping their stability on the loose, broken rail. He wrapped an arm around Craig's shoulders; Craig almost flinched away, but he sensed this was helping Rick with whatever he had to say. He still wasn't sure why he had these kinds of physical issues…

"Look, I know you said you don't trust me or nothin', but… ah, humor me?" Rick said, sounding too unsure for Craig's comfort.

Rick seemed apprehensive; the more this went on, the more Craig got the feeling that Rick's little secret had everything to do with the two of them. Craig set his jaw and nodded curtly. Rick's closeness was simultaneously distracting and disconcerting to Craig and it might have been his mind playing tricks on him, but Rick seemed to be getting closer. The touch of Rick's fingertips across Craig's cheek made him jump, but it was soft enough he thought he might have imagined it. He felt it again, though it was more lulling than surprising this time.

Craig didn't remember closing his eyes until he felt a brush of lips and stubble. His eyes snapped open, shocked by the sudden wash of memories. He remembered why they had an argument and he remembered why he got heckled, other than his prudish attitude; all the holes in his memories were filled completely. Craig stiffened as he realized that he'd forgotten a large chunk of his life and even why he was so jumpy for physical contact.

Rick pulled away from Craig when he felt the shorter man seize up, "Shit… shit, you remember, don'tcha?"

Craig took a shuddering breath before he said anything. He gripped the fabric on his jumpsuit's knees for some balance, some stability. Rick's arm was still heavy around his shoulders and he only had one response to that. Craig shoved the former test subject as hard as his body would allow.

"H-how dare you! I ca-can't believe you'd stoop that low, I remember!" Craig stuttered in disbelief, "You… you dare call me _that_ and now you're stringing me along!"

"No! I—," Rick started again, but Craig shoved him again, cutting him off.

"I can't even begin to tell you how… how _cruel_ that was," Craig seethed, "I didn't have one friend in that damn laboratory and then you come along with your 'I don't care what anyone thinks' swagger, making me think that maybe I didn't have to be in the closet forever! Maybe _someone_ would understand, but no! You have to call me every abhorrent name for a homosexual in your pitiful little brain!"

Rick winced and opened his mouth to try to explain himself again, but Craig shoved him as hard as he could, shoving Rick completely off of the rail, banging some metal on the way down with a loud clang. Craig hadn't meant to be so rough! He made a surprised noise and cautiously looked over the rail. He almost fell over from relief; Rick was sitting on a rail about ten feet below the one they were sitting on, looking back up at him indignantly. Craig had no intentions of going down there himself, especially not now, but he still didn't want Rick to get hurt or anything.

Craig remembered the length of rope in his jumpsuit pocket and quickly tied a strong and secure knot around one of the guardrails. He threw the rope down to Rick's level and disappeared. He didn't want to talk to him right now. Craig wasn't a bad person; he couldn't be malevolent to Rick, no matter how badly that idiot treated him in the past. He just didn't want to talk to that blowhard.

The rope nearly hit Rick in the face when Craig threw it down. Rick sighed and ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of a way to get that stubborn prick to listen to him. Craig had been even pricklier when they were full-time test subjects, if such a thing were possible; Rick often forgot why in the world he got so damn enamored with that oblivious four-eyed bookworm. It probably didn't cross Craig's mind at all that Rick might have fancied him; though that was Rick's plan from the start. It was confusing enough finding out that the 'resident ladies' man' was attracted to another man, but then the idea of getting rejected by that other man was too much for Rick's pride to handle. When they were alone, when they were testing, Rick's flirty nature didn't exactly hide it. Craig couldn't be that oblivious, could he? The only conclusion Rick could draw was that he was wholly uninterested.

Some part of this whole mess had Rick hoping that things would be different, but it seemed he'd broken things too much now. That bridge was completely burned and now Craig was not only pissed off at him, but Rick was putting him in danger, too. He wasn't normally such a fuckup, why now? He rubbed his hands together and grabbed the rope to go find Craig again and hopefully to explain.


	10. Chapter 10

Craig wasn't equipped to handle this. This was all _too much_ to handle in less than twenty-four hours anyway. He couldn't run from this, as much as he wanted to. He was experiencing a chilling wave of emotions now that he was more whole. He was feeling ashamed because of what Rick had done, aside from downright scared of all the horrible memories flooding his head. He was regretting ever forgetting or even entertaining company with that horrible…

Even as skinny as he was, shoving himself inside of an air duct may not have been the most intelligent decision. He knocked off his glasses trying to get inside and he was pretty stuck now. Better to think like this, he figured; he was feeling more conflicted about everything he had been and more. His better sense was telling him not to stray too far from Rick now that they both had their memories back. As much as Craig never wanted to see him again, they needed each other to get out of the facility. Craig wasn't sure why he wanted to leave anymore; there wasn't anything waiting for him. Even hundreds of years earlier, it wouldn't have made a difference.

He pulled his knees up to his chest, further situating himself in the air duct without escape. He just wanted to curl up and die now. Why did Rick have to do that? They were doing just fine as friends and now he had to go and… and… Craig wasn't even sure what Rick was trying to accomplish by… _that._ His memories caught up with his physical responses and he finally remembered that he was so afraid of physical contact because his father was abusive. Craig couldn't remember for the life of him why his father hit him, but it didn't matter. It made him jumpy when people touched him and he'd managed to avoid any sexual contact just to stave off revulsion. Now that Craig thought about it, he'd never given it a try… but when Rick… It dawned on Craig that Rick had gotten physical with him and even _kissed_ him and Craig hadn't found it revolting. The only emotion he remembered feeling was disappointment and hurt; not anything near feeling disgusted.

Because of what he had gone through, he hadn't bothered making friends. He'd so desperately and single-mindedly strove for his father's approval, by the time he realized his father wasn't going to accept him, he had already received an offer at Aperture Science. Craig reflected on his lonely and awkward existence in the laboratory. He knew of Rick before they formally met; Craig had been told all kinds of stories of how Rick the star test-subject had been… less than _friendly_ to all of the scientists in the lab and out. Craig was expecting to fight with him a lot and possibly that one or both of them would get killed. He didn't care much at that point; he'd already resigned his fate to being alone and forgotten until he died. After he and Rick were introduced as testing partners, fighting had ensued: fighting like cats and dogs, but they always managed to get to the end of the test in once piece. Craig hadn't recalled seeing the ends of tests, they argued so much. Once both of them had a cool head, Rick's obtrusive behavior made it hard for Craig to scurry away and go read, as he liked. He was a horrible braggart, but he wasn't horrible company. Getting Craig to laugh was a memory that Rick tossed around like a trophy and Craig knew it was really something rare, so he just let him. That idiot grew on him eventually, though they continued to fight like an old married couple.

Testing went well, so well that all the scientists were baffled why. Suddenly, the two of them were first in line to be put in suspended animation. They weren't allowed to ask why, but they continued testing, as per company regulations. It took a bit of time before things got really honestly tense between the two of them; Craig couldn't have pinpointed the exact time. Tension escalated until Craig finally got up the nerve to ask what was wrong and Rick went off on him, throwing around epithets and dirty rumors until they got into a real argument. It wasn't poking fun at one another, it wasn't stressed testing arguments; it was a knock-down drag-out fight that Craig recalled wishing would turn physical, just for some kind of outlet. It hadn't and after that fight, they were put into their stasis machines and they hadn't spoken since.

This was again, too much. Craig leaned his head against the cool metal of the air duct and sighed heavily. He had a second chance at living and things weren't any fairer than they had been before. Now instead of stuck with a dead-end job with no prospect of escape… he was stuck in a dead-end that might end up killing him permanently this time. On top of that depressing aspect, Rick had gotten so cruel as to tease him physically instead of verbally. Just how much of a laugh would he expect to get with no one else around?

Craig felt something roughly grab his ankles and pull him out of the air duct without much effort. Craig automatically screwed his eyes shut, half with pain from his shoulders and half with the anticipation that he might get a fist to the face. There was some labored breathing, but no fists. Craig cautiously opened one eye to the sight of his glasses being offered to him. He timidly took them and put them on his face. The glass had a neat crack down the middle of the left lens, but he could see Rick's tired and annoyed expression perfectly well. He was standing over the newly-extracted Craig, whose back was against the floor; he was helplessly at Rick's mercy. He just had to hope Rick wasn't going to be too rough on him; they still had to get out.


	11. Chapter 11

Rick took a deep breath; his expression was pretty intense and it relaxed only marginally, "Duct's not a great place to hide, is it, Pinky?" he asked in a low, gruff voice that made the hair on the back of Craig's neck prickle.

Craig swallowed hard as a calloused hand was offered to him, but he took it and Rick quickly pulled him to his feet. It didn't escape the runaway that he was stuck between a pretty irate Rick and a wall to his back and right side. Rick quickly took care of the left side by blocking any further escape with his hand banging against the wall right next to Craig's ear, making him wince. He was trying to appear as calm as he could be, but Craig's shoulders were quaking without his permission.

"Now, if you're gonna stay still and listen, I might forgive you for pushin' me off that rail," Rick grumbled, managing to still sound cranky, though he was talking about forgiveness.

Craig reached up with a shaking hand to push up his glasses and then nodded carefully, pressing his shoulder blades against the wall. He felt extremely deflated; he normally would have gotten right back up in Rick's face and argued right back, but that nagging part of him reminded his conscience that he was partly to blame for almost hurting, or worse, killing Rick.

"Now, why'd you go and push me off that damn rail?" Rick said in a low growl.

Craig swallowed hard, "I didn't mean for it to—"

"Tell me why, not your damn apology."

"I don't appreciate being toyed with," Craig finally said, trying to put on a brave face.

"Who in the hell said I was messin'?" Rick's eyes were narrowing.

"You did when you decided to be an ass to me like that!" Craig blurted not without a bit of acidity; he was done being passive now.

Rick removed his hand from the wall for a millisecond to mop his face roughly. He had some explaining to do and fast; this would be a helluva lot easier if he weren't so pissed off at his shorter companion and that same companion weren't so damned easy to throw around. Last time he scared the living daylights out of Craig, he immediately felt like a big lug picking on weaker people and that made him a bully; he didn't want to be that, least of all to his dear, but frustrating friend.

"Look, do us both a favor and start listenin' to me, okay?" Rick said, prompting only a fierce glare from Craig, "You think you understand this, but you really don't!"

"There doesn't appear to be much to understand," Craig said with a voice dripping with venom.

"There you go, being a damn know-it-all again!" Rick roared with frustration, "Can't you just… I dunno, shut up for once?"

"It's _your_ mouth that got you into this, you buffoon, lest you forget!"

"No, it's your… your… fuck, I dunno! You barely notice yourself, let alone any other person 'round you!"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Craig whipped back indignantly.

"It means that you don't notice someone moonin' over ya to properly reject them like you might have grown a pair through puberty!" Rick shouted, punctuating his sentence with his hand slammed against the wall.

"You're a-! Wait," Craig said, half a second after he realized what Rick had said, "'Mooning over me?' Who in the hell would do a thing like that? I don't even know how that's applicable in a situation like this, how do you even _think_ that that would matter ri—"

Rick grabbed Craig's chin a bit too roughly to shut him up. He finally got Craig to look him in the face this time; he wasn't entirely sure he liked what he saw. Rick's expression was intense and appeared slightly angry; none of this spelled anything good for Craig. He almost ditched all thoughts of getting out of the facility right then.

"You. Talk. Too. Damn. Much," Rick said in a rapid staccato to emphasize his point, "Don't think much though, do ya? Who's been around ya for god knows how many long-ass years? Who's been tryin' to catch your attention for all this time?"

Craig immediately felt his mouth get very dry. The thought hadn't even occurred to him, Craig had been so concerned with science and testing that even the idea of a friend was foreign to him. He'd been so adept at fending off anyone that even wanted to be a casual acquaintance; he didn't notice the person too stubborn to go away was actually developing feelings for him. He would be so obliviously thick, wouldn't he?

"Are you gonna make me come out and say it?" Rick demanded, "D'you have any idea how confusing this has been for _me? _Fine, I think I'm in love with you, you stubborn prick!"

"I'm sorry," Craig breathed, eyes wide.

"Yeah? Well, I'm sorry, too, now that you—Oh," Rick said, cut off by the shorter man reaching up to wrap his arms around his neck.

Craig's shoulders were still shaking, almost imperceptibly and his face was buried in Rick's collarbone. This damn guy, thought Rick, can make it so easy for someone to feel bad for him. Now that Rick was marginally less angry about being shoved down a rail, he realized that a lot of stuff had been happening to Craig all at once. With all of this ridiculous emotional crap, Rick really couldn't blame him for being overwhelmed. He never thought he'd have the chance to tell him again; he was probably a little hasty in telling him. Ah well, it was way too damn late now.

"I-I just need some time, please?" Craig finally said, words muffled by the cloth of Rick's jumpsuit.

"Yeah, sure. What's a couple more minutes after hundreds of years, right?" Rick said, managing not to sound the least bit sarcastic.

Craig nodded and let go of Rick's neck. He quickly moved away from Rick and thankfully, the air duct, too. He needed a moment to calm down and think over what happened, analyze all the probabilities for implosion due to stress and unexpected physical affection. He hadn't done the calculations thoroughly, but he was pretty sure the chances were 78% and 98% respectively. Rick watched him unsteadily disappear around one of the corners.


	12. Chapter 12

He thought he might follow Craig for about half a second, wondering if he'd be alright. He immediately dropped the idea; Craig needed some space, it didn't matter how badly Rick wanted an answer. A few hundred years was longer than a few more hours, but it did nothing for his nerves. Rick turned to lean against the wall, trying to take deep breaths to regain his breath back. His head was rapidly clearing, meaning he realized all that bull went a helluva lot better than it could have. He quickly mopped his face with his hand when it dawned on him that maybe Craig really was just oblivious. Months of agonizing over it like some teenager now seemed like wasted time and Rick was beginning to think that maybe he didn't have to protect himself from getting hurt.

He huffed despondently and really hoped he didn't permanently fuck things up. He had a flicker of hope for that, but he knew better than anyone not to try to anticipate what course of action that stubborn ass would take, not that he was one to talk.

Rick wished he hadn't been such a douchebag. Things felt much more complicated then, there were a lot more voices around him; a lot more influences that told him this whole bull was wrong. Every other tester mentioned how much the two of them fought and every single one of them were surprised to find out that both of them still thrived in spite of it; maybe even because of it; but Rick wasn't deaf to the rumors, he just didn't care. He found that he'd rather be fighting with Craig rather than not be around him at all. He wasn't so eloquent to put that sort of feeling into words, but it had gotten to a point where he anticipated it and expected their squabbles.

The point where it got past being complacent was the harder part. Rick wasn't ever a guy who lied to anyone, let alone himself, but he really tried to bury the attraction he felt toward Craig. He thought it was something akin to brotherly love or something like that; something tame. It wasn't until little wisps of Craig showed up in dreams, fantasies, afterthoughts. It was maddening, a hint of his pink gaze somewhere in the back of his mind; a flash of his glasses blinding whatever else he might be thinking of. He didn't know when it went from shaky cooperation to completely head-over-heels, but it happened somewhere in the time they were working together. It was shockingly sudden to him when his thoughts moved from putting Craig in a sleeper hold to wanting to find him between Rick's sheets.

It seemed kind of surreal, actually, now that Rick could summon up the word. Their fighting seemed like gasoline on a bonfire; he just couldn't remember what lit the match. He rubbed his face again with both hands before realizing that dwelling on all this wasn't going to get them out of here any faster. The longer they stuck around here, the more likely that bitch bucket of bolts would find them. She would _not_ be happy with either one of them and if that was the case, they were both dead men walking. Neither neurotoxins nor the incinerator sounded like great company right now, or ever, if Rick had anything to say about it. This was one helluva messy situation and he lived for that.

He pulled his hands off of his face and looked at an imaginary watch on his wrist. He figured he'd left Craig to think long enough. His patience was wearing thin with this whole business and the longer he stayed in this hell hole, the more suffocated he felt. He picked himself off of the ground and dusted off his jumpsuit.

_BRAAAAAAAANNNNNGGGG_ Rick nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the speakers emit a high pitched train whistle. He tensed, looking around for turrets, or a closing door or anything, but he didn't see anything. He took off running toward the direction Craig went, yelling down the hallway for him.

"Guilty conscience?" GLaDOS' deadpan voice echoed, "That's really too bad. You should have let him die you know. Much easier on you, but now you're just a trapped rat."

"Shiiiiit," Rick shouted; she wasn't talking to him, she was talking to _Craig._

He heard some slamming and started to run faster. There was some strange whirring coming from about a hundred feet ahead of him. He didn't recognize the noise, but it filled him with a sense of dread. He suddenly saw a bright blue light leading right over the pit that was Aperture. It was one of those Excursion tunnels and Rick only stopped running when he saw a small something floating in its beam. Rick didn't even think twice about this stupid decision he was about to make.

The only things that mattered right now was making the chance that Craig might die to 0% and getting him the fuck out of the tunnel. He sprinted as fast as he legs could carry him and leaped off of the ledge toward Craig. He wasn't going to make it oh god oh god… He could feel himself falling and he could see Craig staring at him in disbelief. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion until Rick felt something around his hands. He immediately gripped it and pulled whatever it was close. It just happened to be one blond, pink eyed ex-scientist and Rick couldn't stop laughing at his luck.

"Fact: You're going to get us killed!" Craig yelled over the sound of rushing air.

"Hahahaha, oh god, I caught you, I caught you!" Rick babbled, "I can't believe I caught you!"

"What are you doing? Now we're both going to die!" Craig said, unable to hear completely.

"It doesn't matter, it really doesn't matter, babe," Rick said, still clutching around Craig's waist.

Craig cried out in frustration and just hoped they found some way out of this, "You could have gotten away!"

"No! There ain't no fuckin' way I could've," Rick protested, seemingly intent on having an argument while freefalling.

"The rate we're falling will turn us into applesauce when we hit the bottom!" Craig shouted.

"Look, I know we're about to die, but I'm sorry, got it?" Rick yelled, trying to be heard, "I shouldn'ta called you all that bull, I thought you were gonna be a dick and tell me to step off if I said anythin', okay?"

"It doesn't matter anymore!" Craig screamed, "It doesn't matter and we're both going to die!"

"But-,"

Craig grabbed at his hair in frustration and fear, "I forgive you, alright? Flirting in my mind was for co-eds and house cats, okay? I'm not exactly good at it, so that's why I didn't notice, aside from a whole laundry list of hang ups I have!"

"I don't care about hang ups, darlin'. I really don't, I'm sorry, I shoulda said something, but I love—"

"This is a really bad time, OH shiii—"

Both of them were shut up immediately by sight below them. They were falling so far that they were about to hit the boarded up part of Aperture and down even further, if that was possible. Craig saw the water first and pulled his and Rick's head down in a mostly futile hope that they wouldn't die on impact.


	13. Chapter 13

Rick didn't notice the water until he hit it and all of the wind was knocked out of his lungs. He panicked; he never learned how to swim! He let go of Craig the moment they broke the surface, not realizing that the other man was already swimming toward air. He expelled any more air he might have had in his lungs trying to yell for help. He immediately thrashed, but only continued to sink. Craig was getting further away… Shit, this'd be the second time today he was about to drown!

Craig gasped when he reached the surface. He glanced around, trying to look for Rick, but didn't see him in the mottled light. That idiot, where did he go? It was already a miracle they were alive, he didn't need to play games like this.

"Rick?" he called, "Fact: This isn't funny, where are you?"

He took a deep breath and plunged his head under the water's surface. He saw something quickly sinking down into the darkness… He pulled his head up and panicked for a moment before taking a deeper breath and diving under the water. He kicked as fast as his body would allow him, pushing deeper into the water with his arms outstretched. He grabbed Rick around the wrist and pulled him up as hard as he could before hooking both arms underneath of Rick's. Rick panicked, not sure what was going on and flailed again, knocking Craig's glasses off. Craig tried to shout, but just expelled a lot of bubbles. He grit his teeth and started to pull both of them to the surface and away from his quickly sinking glasses.

Rick started to cough when they broke the surface, violently expelling any water he took in. Craig was breathing in long gasping breaths, both from lack of oxygen and fatigue. Rick had calmed down and wasn't thrashing around anymore, at least.

"My glasses," Craig gasped, "You knocked them off!"

"Shit, I didn't mean it," Rick said between coughs.

"Go get them if you didn't mean it!" Craig yelled indignantly.

"I can't swim, didn't you see me sink like a rock!"

"How in the hell can't you swim?"

Rick finally could breathe without coughing, "I… made all the jumps off those waterfalls?"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE."

"I grew up in the middle'a fuckin' Texas!" Rick protested, "Where did you grow up, Mr. Fish?"

"The lower portion of Massachusetts, towards the Cape, there was a beach, where we learned to SWIM," Craig spouted in frustration. "It seems like something anyone would pursue learning!"

"Oh, you don't have the accent."

"That doesn't mean I didn't live there! It's a _Boston _accent for a reason!"

"You're pretty pasty for a swimmer."

"And you're pretty damn cocky for dead weight!"

"…Shut up."

"Go get my glasses!" Craig said, letting go of Rick's shoulders, "I'll get you when you find them."

Rick only had half a second to take a breath before he found himself sinking down into the water again. He sunk quickly, like a rock might, and soon he was eyeing the water around him for Craig's glasses. Now that he was calmer, he noticed that there was a lot of scrap metal at the bottom of this giant pond. There were arches and what looked like cement blocks… Like this place was inhabited at one time and just got flooded with a lot of water. Well, Rick wasn't going to find out any time soon because he spotted Craig's cracked glasses floating through the water. Rick reached out as far as he could and grabbed them. Craig had been following him, only able to see the very large outline of Rick's shoulders.

Craig immediately grabbed Rick by his armpits and kicked furiously to the surface. Craig snatched his glasses out of Rick's hand and replaced them on his face. There was still a crack in the glass, but they were intact and now he could see, even if they were speckled with drops of water. He spotted what looked like some empty ledges and he dragged Rick and himself through the water, shoving him on the dry metal. Rick hauled himself up and offered a hand to Craig and hauled him up, too.

"Y'know, you're amazing, gorgeous," Rick said sincerely.

"Yes, well, if we get out of here, I'll teach your heavy ass to swim," Craig said with some embarrassment.

They both did their best to wring out their clothes, though this water wasn't as cold. Craig peeled of his jumpsuit and laid it over some railing for it to dry, beckoning for Rick to do the same. Both of them getting hypothermia cut their chances for survival by 75% or more and Craig couldn't have that.

"Whoo, that was a close one," Rick said, sitting on the metal floor in his singlet and boxers, "I really thought we were gonna eat it there."

Craig was silent for a long moment, "Why did you do such a stupid thing?"

"I tried to tell you, I think I—"

"You seem to be hung up on such an idea; I already told you I've forgiven you. Must you carry on like this?" Craig said, pressing his fingertips to his brow. He felt a headache coming on.

"I jumped off a damn cliff for you and you still think I'm messin'?" Rick said, genuinely shocked.

"For lack of a stronger term, yes, I do," Craig said, exasperated.

Rick stood up with half a mind to beat some sense into Craig, but he knew that would get him nowhere, "Okay, Pinkie, you don't believe me, maybe someone else will."

"'What are you…," Craig began, but could only watch in mild amusement as Rick surveyed their supplies and surroundings.

Rick spotted a bunch of burnt wood and pulled off a piece of the charred mess. He started scratching it along the ground like charcoal and surprisingly the ground was marked with a messy line. Craig stood back as Rick drew it along the ten by ten foot space they were trying to dry themselves on. He stopped abruptly and looked up at Craig with a silly grin; Craig rolled his eyes. He moved to the center and started scratching out a large 'R.A.'

"Now, what are your initials again?" Rick said, turning back to Craig who was pressing his hands into his forehead again.

"That isn't a tree, Rick," he said, almost as though he were trying too hard to sound serious.

"It's the best I've got, okay?" Rick said, feigning hurt.

"You're really serious about this. Chances of getting hurt with me are uncharacteristically high."

"Is that a fact, now?" Rick said with a wry grin.

"_YES," _Craig said sternly.

"I dunno if I give a shit, sweet cheeks," Rick said resolutely, "Are those chances higher or lower than us dying?"

"Considering the chances of our deaths in the next 24 hours are reaching 97%... chances of getting hurt with me are actually lower," Craig said with a resigned sigh.

Rick moved over to Craig and took him by the waist, "Look, I fucked up, okay? Gimme a chance if we get out of here, I promise to make you happy."

Craig looked stressed, but didn't try to get away from Rick. He was still uncomfortable with the idea of trusting Rick that way, but it felt more like new territory more than that he might not actually trust Rick. Relationships had a ludicrously low success rate, so Craig never bothered, as a human or as a personality sphere. He wasn't entirely sure he was comfortable with having hope they'd get out of here, either. He did like Rick, that wasn't the issue; he was a lout and a braggart, but he was brave and honorable, mostly. He was the type that Craig didn't allow himself to daydream being with, but here he was…

"If we get out of here, we can do whatever you want," Craig said finally, "Whatever it is you feel like doing, whatever it is you _think_ you want; you can have it. Even me."

"What about now?" Rick asked mischievously.

"What _about_ now? What do you mean?" Craig demanded.

"What if I want you now?" Rick asked, trying to make it sound as hypothetical as possible.

Craig immediately turned cherry red, "W-w-we don't even k-know where we are, how c-c-can you even think of such a thing!" he stammered.

Rick laughed, "Oh, baby, but this is the safest we've been yet! This place ain't seen anyone in years!"

"Regardless, let's… find a way out of here, please," Craig said, finally getting a hold of his stammer.

"Suit yourself, angel," Rick said, putting on an exaggerated disappointed voice.

Craig paused for a moment, before sighing and adding. "They're 'C.S.' by the way. Why?"

A large smile grew on Ricks face, he backed away and added a small plus in the shape and them beneath that, Craig's initials, stepping back to admire his work. Unable to see exactly what he was looking at, Craig stepped back as well to where Rick stood triumphantly with his hands on his on his hips. Craig raised a brow, turning to the mural.

Drawn on the floor was "R.A. + C.S." in a very large, albeit very awkward and lopsided heart. The corners of Craig's mouth twitched and then he immediately covered his face with his hands. He realized that part of his icy exterior was melted because of some childish scrawling on a metal floor. This couldn't be good for his health.

"I saw that, y'know," Rick said smugly.

"Let's find a way out of here," Craig muttered sullenly.


	14. Chapter 14

Upon inspection around the darkened corners of the platform, they found a door that opened when they approached. Rick nearly jumped back and anticipated enemies, but Craig walked through with an eye roll and without a thought. They were greeted to a somewhat familiar sight. Though it was mostly dark, the shapes of plastic and metal chairs could be made out and then suddenly a light above them began to flicker.

"Ah shit, this is the old lobby innit?" Rick groaned, moving to inspect one of the ancient and fading posters on the wall, depicting an overly happy former test subject with their payment voucher.

Craig didn't respond immediately, glancing only briefly at the portrait of the sick and aging Cave Johnson. He was heading toward one of the control rooms that had a faint red glow. He tugged on the doorknob and it promptly broke off in his hand. With a nasty scowl, Craig tried to force his shoulder into the door, with little success.

"I need maybe twice as many pounds of force behind this," Craig grumbled, ever analytical, "Come here, please."

Rick didn't need to be asked twice, though he wasn't honestly paying attention, with all the littered coffee cups and pens on the floor to investigate. He moved over to the door and stared, trying to figure out what he was doing. Craig shook his head and gestured to the door impatiently. Hint taken, Rick squared his shoulders and then rammed into the door, making it swing open, as if they asked nicely.

"Thank you," Craig said absently, entering the security room.

There was a control panel with several switches and a large red button that was unmarked. Craig remembered what it was; it wasn't nearly as menacing at it appeared. It was just the door release. He immediately pressed the button with half a protest from Rick; there was a buzzer and he heard a large door swing open with a smack. Craig looked up at Rick with a little smirk of satisfaction.

"Don't tell me this place isn't completely familiar," Craig asked, "Through the door and down a hallway, there are the men's locker rooms?"  
>"Well yeah, but how d'ya think that'll help us?" Rick said, causing Craig to pinch the bridge of his nose.<p>

"C'mon, we're going to look for the elevator to the new wings," Craig said, hurrying out of the security room after flipping on some switches for light, "But first, we're going down to the locker rooms."

"The locker rooms? Why?" Rick said as he followed.

"For clothes, or something else we can find. Or did you want to get out of here with orange jumpsuits that make us look like prison inmates?" came the reply followed by the quick mutter, "And stop being half naked…"

Rick shrugged, but realized he had a point. They were in their old workplace; they might even find their own things down here, though that was unlikely. It wasn't too wet down here, maybe it all wouldn't have rotted away. They made their way down the stairs in the darkness, though the lights were turning on sporadically around them. They reached the bottom and it split off in the men and women's locker rooms. Craig couldn't think of anything they needed in the women's locker room, so he led them to their old locker room.

It was unusually hot in there, but it was at least dry. Craig didn't remember where his locker might have been, but any supplies they might find anywhere would be helpful. He moved down one of the rows of lockers, bare feet padding along the smoothed concrete surface. Rick was following him closely, which Craig realized wasn't terribly efficient. He suddenly turned around and Rick nearly ran right into him.

"We should split up, let's meet upstairs with anything we find in ten minutes," Craig suggested.

Rick gave him a sidelong look, "Are you sure that's safe there, sweetheart?"

"Yes, there weren't as many security cameras then, don't you remember? If I get upstairs first, I can deactivate any that are left," Craig assured him.

Rick gave him a slow nod and turned around to go down to the other end of the locker room. Craig sighed in relief and turned back around. He tugged on one of the locker doors, but it didn't budge. He frowned at it, but moved on to the next, and that one immediately fell off without much force. The metal clanged heavily on the ground, making Craig jump.

"Y'okay over there!" he heard Rick call.

"I'm perfectly fine," Craig called back, almost sounding indignant.

He inspected the inside of the locker, finding it empty, but the door was shaped in such a way that it gave him an idea. He positioned the broken door in the spaces between the locked door and used it as a lever to break it open. The door swung open with a clang and Craig happily found it full of different items. The bottom was stuffed with some crumpled up clothing and the door was decorated with a mirror and some faded pictures. Craig curiously drew close to the door to inspect the photos; maybe he'd recognize who was in them.

In them, there was a really tall man with a preteen boy, in a position like they were play fighting. They both had bright blue eyes and messy dirty blonde hair, Craig assumed they were brothers by the way they were acting. The age gap was too close to be father and son, anyway. He looked at the next picture, where the same preteen boy was sitting in a pile of sand with a big, half-toothless grin. He was proudly showing off a t-shirt with a rocket ship on it. Craig had a dim familiarity with the tall man, but couldn't place where he'd seen him before. He was apparently pretty fond of his little brother. Craig tentatively picked up the last picture which was nearest the bottom. The boy looked like he had tears in his eyes and his hair was mussed and caked with mud, along with his face. He was tightly embracing someone who Craig had to assume was the man from the first picture with a very distressed look on his young features. He flipped it over and there was something written on the back: '_I took this while you and Neil weren't looking. Come back home soon! We both miss you! –Mom'_

Craig smiled a bit sadly at the picture and put it back down in the locker. He kind of wished he remembered that employee's face, but it didn't matter. As far as Craig knew, he and Rick were the only humans in the entire facility right now. He remembered when that mute test subject was released, though the remaining cores were quickly returned to the corrupted core pile. At least GLaDOS had been kind enough to find a use for them; he could thank her for that much, if they lived.


	15. Chapter 15

Craig picked up a few of the articles of clothing and found they were much too tall for him and would be much too thin for Rick. That was inconvenient, to say the least, but he remembered the man in the picture was pretty tall and thin, possibly more so than average. He rummaged around in the rest of the locker and found nothing of interest, so he moved on to the next closed one and repeated the process with the broken door.

This locker looked a tiny bit more familiar, he realized, as he pulled a red plaid shirt out of the bottom. As he pulled the shirt out, several more things tumbled out with it. There was a brown faded hat, along with several pieces of paper. Craig carefully picked them up and unfolded the first one, making more papers fall out of it. They were pictures, he realized. He gathered them up as carefully as he could and arranged them so he could look at them.

The first was a picture of an old looking house that had a rickety looking wrap-around porch and a porch swing. Craig moved that picture to the back of the pile and couldn't help but smile at the next. There was a group of 4 children of varying ages, a boy and three girls, all with dark hair and green or grey eyes. There was a young teenage girl with a messy braid and braces sitting on the porch swing with a toddler with bright green eyes and very little hair. Next to them there was a boy and a girl with cheesy grins on their faces, they looked about eight and exactly alike: grey eyes and curly brown hair. Considering the resemblance, Craig had a good guess on whose locker this had been.

He looked at the letter and noticed it was written in severe looking red pen. There were big scribbles all over the paper, so a lot of it was unintelligible, but Craig tried anyway. He knew he was invading Rick's privacy a little bit, but it would be his secret. The letter began, 'Dear Ma,' but it was scribbled out, then it read 'Dear Roberta, I have something I want to tell you' but it was scribbled out again. It appeared he was having a hard time deciding who to send this to and why. There were more scribbles he couldn't make out and then another 'Dear Lana and Lars, I haven't written in a while because I've been on another dangerous adventure.' There were a few more scribbles under that, but the only other thing that Craig could make out made him frown a little bit.

"Remember I was telling you that I finally got a sidekick? He's really an amazing person, I'm not really sure what to say about him that will make you like him as much I do. If I ever get a vacation from this damn place, I want you guys to meet him. He's a bit stuffy at first, but..." There were a lot of very heavily crossed out words that Craig couldn't even begin to understand. "I know I said that I'm a permanent bachelor, but I think I was just sayin' that for laughs, y'know? I reckon I might've fallen for someone and I really want you to meet h—" there were more scribbles. "Craig's an alright guy, but I dunno if it's worth even telling him. I kinda want to keep my balls, thank you."

That was all that he could understand, other than Rick's pointed signature at the bottom. His handwriting was messy and his syntax was kind of endearing in a very simple way… but Craig frowned. Had he really been that abrasive with the idea of a relationship? Clearly, Rick was having a dilemma about this back then and it seemed difficult for him to even think about telling his family. He did say he grew up in Texas; not even where Craig grew up was being homosexual really accepted. There were too many stigmas at the time and everyone was convinced that gays were born with AIDS or something similarly ridiculous. AIDS was a dangerous disease that humans made up to prevent cannibalism, Craig said with a scoff before realizing what he'd just thought. That wasn't right.

He shook it off and gathered up the clothes he found in the bottom of the locker. He poked around for anything else useful and pulled out a hard plastic water bottle. He was pretty sure they hadn't eaten in a good twelve hours, so this was a good find. With all of that, his arms were full enough for him, so he took the clothes, the water bottle, and the letters upstairs. He was feeling pretty good about all of this now, though he hadn't thought about what to do about Rick. No, that was a lie, he had. He believed him now and just didn't know how to go to the next step.


	16. Chapter 16

Once in the lobby, he quickly folded Rick's clothes and put them in a neat pile with the hat on the top. He put the letters underneath of the hat and took the water bottle with him. He remembered that he had to shut off any possibility of the cameras working, so he hurried off to the security room to flip the switch that would shut off the security in the entire sector. That way, they might have a second to breathe. He didn't see Rick coming up the stairs with a similar pile of clothing and a small leather bound book in his hand.

"Ha, Craig, you even write like a damn Factlopedia," he laughed, turning the page.

He looked up and Craig wasn't there, but there was a pile of clothes with a familiar looking hat, "Ha! That sneaky… found my hat!"

He crouched down next to the pile of clothing and kept reading what appeared to be Craig's journal. He dropped the pile of clothes unceremoniously on the floor while distracted by the ridiculously huge words Craig wrote in his _own_ journal. How nerdy was that? Who else was going to read it? There wasn't anyone else to impress. He flipped the page again roughly and began to read where he didn't get a headache trying to figure out the context of the first word.

_July 23_

_ I received a call from Father today. He seemed less than pleased to hear that I'm doing well, but I could just be projecting my mutual sentiments on him. I'm not sure exactly how to express to him that I'm not a little boy he can knock around anymore. Fact #124: It's just a little harder to sleep now that he called, but a couple of sleep aids should take me into REM sleep soon enough. Unrelated, though important would be news of my 'promotion' as my supervisor insisted on phrasing it. I'm being forced into a cooperative testing initiative for some of the newer Aperture products and I can't frankly say I'm enthused in the least. The others say he's some form of great ape that's simply very lucky and excruciatingly stubborn. I can't help but feel I was scouted for this job, knowing the company I work for. I'll see how testing goes with him._

Seeing how Craig described his father suddenly made a lot of sense to Rick; he never really talked about his family. Well damn, he didn't blame the four-eyed walking cold shoulder for being a little… touchy about being touched. Rick frowned, 'some great ape,' huh? Who in the hell had said that? He had half a mind… He flipped the page instead.

_August 1_

_ It doesn't appear that testing with my new forced partner is all as bad as it seems. He isn't quite as oafish and meat-headed as the scientific team detailed for me, not entirely anyway. He is stubborn and lacks a lot of forethought, but he's certainly not stupid and has a ridiculous amount of persistence. Fact #125: Being around the man makes it inexplicably difficult to maintain my temper, though I've worked for years to get it under control. Fighting over the smallest things tends to drive us both forward, much to the confusion of anyone observing us, I'm positive. I believe we are only beta testing the test chambers for further use, so I don't really know why they are testing us like they are. The tests are getting steadily harder and occasionally they will spike, with an errant turret that didn't look like it should have been there. Just a note, I'm not sure if I should be suspicious or not._

Huh, Rick realized that Craig's notation was right, not that he ever thought of it that way. He turned to the next page and didn't think any more of it. The page was slightly warped and the ink kind of blotted, Rick noted with a slightly turned head.

_August 22_

_ Shit, I'm an idiot and I don't even know why I thought I could—No, I must keep calm and understand that this is in no way my fault. Yes, a calm head will allow me to think through this situation. Rick is in the infirmary right now, in critical—He's been shot, there was one of those damned turrets hiding behind a grate and I didn't see it in time, so he tried to pull me out of the damn way and why does he have to go and play hero like that all the damn time? I didn't want him to get hurt, that was just… I just… I didn't mean for it… I think I'm babbling and I can hardly form a coherent sentence. It's already been a couple of hours that I've been pacing around my bunk trying to calm myself down. This has already reflected badly on our record and I don't know why I'm worrying about that right now because he might have died! I'm such an idiot; I can't believe I didn't tel_

The text stopped right there without a punctuation, like he meant to continue. Rick remembered that, when he got shot much worse than he ever had been. He'd been shot by turrets before, but this nearly hit his heart and he was in surgery for a long time before he recovered. He hadn't gotten a visit in the hospital either, if he recalled with a bit of bitterness. Rick shook it off and turned the page again.

_August 23_

_ He's alright, thank god. He's alright. Fact #126: I am_ never_ going to let him do that ever again._

Well, Rick didn't need to know that part, he knew he recovered. It was kind of nice to see that Craig actually was worried about him instead of being aloof and didn't care like Rick originally thought. He was… probably even crying about it, now that Rick looked closely. This was the only page that wasn't pristine and even the handwriting was a little shaky. Rick flipped the pages all the way to the last page that was written on; he was getting impatient.

_February 16_

_ For my sanity's sake, I must outline what happened a couple of hours ago. I want to review it once or twice, if I can stomach it, just to see if I'm correct in this little debacle. Even my typically eidetic memory is failing me right now, so I'll try to make this brief. _

_ As I've previously noted, Rick, my testing partner, has been acting a trifle strange lately. His normal garrulous and obnoxious behavior has been replaced with something much surlier and agitated. I decided to take in more evidence as we tested and we got into a much harsher argument than is typical, even for two prickly test subjects. I'm going to put this as clearly as I can._

_ I mentioned to him that we would end up in the thick of turrets that seem to love him so much if we continued on the path he chose. He turned to me and told me that I shouldn't attempt to be his replacement mother, to which I replied more insistently that his mother would probably protest to the tests in the first place. He demanded that I refrain from speaking about his mother and I inform him that I was simply trying to keep him intact so he didn't make a return trip to the emergency medical ward. He asked what I cared about that, so I told him that I'd be kind of useless without a test partner at this point. He muttered something that I didn't hear and I asked him to repeat himself. He yelled that he didn't need someone like me and people like me made him sick._

_ I don't even remember mentioning anything like that to Rick. I didn't assume my choice… or preferred choice of company would aid our relationship in any way, least of all a positive one. I've gotten remarks in the past and I've tried to deny them simply to save face, but coming directly against someone I respected being an outright bigot about it…_

_ I told him that people like me didn't deserve to be treated like that, regardless of what he thought, mostly angrily. He insisted that I didn't have to 'be such a pansy' about it and I called him a lout and an idiot. He told me I was a good for nothing fairy and I called him a coward and a buffoon. I told him that I was sorry I ever knew him because he hated me for who I am, something I couldn't change. He paused for a millisecond before responding, but then he looked angrier than he already had been._

_ I don't even want to list all of the names he called me after that. Fact #478: I have never had the word 'fag' directed at me before and I hope it never happens again. I was too stunned for words at that point and immediately solved the test chamber so I could leave him behind. We're being dumped into the cryogenic freezer tomorrow anyway; I don't have to think about him until they decide to reanimate us. _

_ I'm a lot more upset even looking at this than I was writing it. This is the last time I'll write in this, I believe. _

Rick shut the journal with a snap. God damn, that was uncomfortably accurate. Now he felt even more like a tool than he had been earlier. He heard some footsteps behind him and immediately stood up to see Craig approaching with a couple of items and a look of triumph on his face that immediately fell when he saw Rick crouched there with a leather-bound journal in hand.

"W-what are you reading?" he asked, dreading the answer.


	17. Chapter 17

Rick stood up and grinned at the nervous look in Craig's eyes, "You got all worried over that time I was shot by that damn turret?"

Craig's entire face turned a panicked bright red, "I-Is that mine? You're reading my.."

"Looks like you were even cryin' over me, that's kinda cute, sweetheart," Rick said, walking over to where Craig stood stock still.

"I-I-I do NOT recall doing any such thing!" Craig insisted with a face resembling a tomato.

"Aw, stuff it, Craig, why's this page all smuged up then?" Rick said with a wry grin.

"G-GIVE ME THAT," Craig said, making a dive for the book in Rick's hand, "Why are you even reading something that isn't yours!"

Rick yanked it out of reach, "How's I supposed to know who's the hell it was? I thought they mighta been, I dunno, DEAD or somethin.'"

Craig snarled at Rick, "Give that BACK, you are blatantly invading my privacy!"

"Aww, I won't tell anyone about your little diary, honey," Rick said with a mock-saccharine voice.

"It's a journal and it's _private!_" Craig persisted.

"If it's a 'journal' why's it got this dinky little lock and key on it?" Rick teased, "Hell, if anyone just so happened to… I 'unno, stumble across it, it ain't so hard to break it!"

"FACT: You're NOSEY," Craig cried after he realized he was pretty damn helpless.

"Did I mention I thought they were dead?" Rick said absently, rubbing his chin.

"Why didn't you PUT IT DOWN then?" Craig grumbled.

"Are you kiddin' me? You really think I would put down a _whole damn book_ of learnin'-about-you?" Rick said, waving the book in the air for emphasis.

"Nosey people are twice as likely to get _punched in the gut_," Craig said, grinding his teeth.

Rick laughed, "Go 'head, I got abs of stone. Take yer best shot!"

Craig took a smarter route and picked up Rick's hat full of letters, "Then I just won't give you my discovery. I'll make a trade, letters to home for my dia—I mean, journal."

Rick gave Craig an amused sidelong look, "You're tellin' me that you were snoopin' around in my letters to my momma?"

"And your siblings—Ah! I mean," Craig amended, but it was too late.

Rick laughed really hard, "Haha, darlin', who is the nosey one now?"

"Why didn't you give that back to me?" Craig said, sounding mostly angry, but slightly hurt.

"You woulda ripped it into a million pieces and then what?" Rick said.

"Then I wouldn't be humiliated in front of the biggest lout I've ever known," Craig said with some acid in his tone.

"Back atcha, sweetheart," Rick drawled, "You probably found the embarrassin' ones didn'tcha?"

Craig paused for a moment and gave the hat full of letters to Rick, who in return gave Craig his journal. He picked up the letter that Craig had left on the top; the one full of red scribbles and talk of sidekicks. He unfolded it and read it with a rueful smile. Craig couldn't help feel bad that he'd read these letters now. Rick looked kind of sad about the whole ordeal. Anyone and everyone they would have known while alive and conscious was dead now, by generations.

Rick replaced the letter on the top of the pile and set the hat back down on the folded clothes. He didn't say anything immediately and Craig wasn't sure if it was going to help if he tried to fill the awkward silence. He almost did, but Rick did it for him.

"You had no clue, didja?" Rick said slowly.

Craig could gather what he was talking about, "No, I honestly didn't."

"Why didn't ya come visit me when I went to the medical ward that time?" Rick asked slowly.

Craig wasn't entirely sure how to answer that one, but he knew why he didn't. He shifted uncomfortably for a moment, avoiding Rick's eyes.

"If you had seen how… wrecked I was because of it, I thought you would have either gotten the wrong idea and hated me, or ridiculed me for it," Craig said finally, "It's frankly not the first time."

Rick grabbed Craig's shoulders, "Damn, y'know that fuckin' fight we got into? I thought _you _hated _me_ and didn't give a shit about me. Then you went and got all preachy at me, I thought you were being… um…"

"Condescending?" Craig supplied, "I didn't intend to come off that way, but you were being aloof and uncooperative."

"Yeah and then I called you all kinds of things I can't take back," Rick said, "Damn, I'm glad that cleared up, yeah?"

Craig nodded, "I manually disconnected the electricity source for all of the surveillance in the area. We're safe until we run out of supplies, which might be soon."

"Leave that to ole' Rick," he replied with a wink, "The old locker room showers are working, too."

"That's inordinately good news. If we find some food, we can stake out here until we can formulate a plan," Craig said, making a move to go and do just that.

Rick clutched his shoulders tighter and then drew him up into a hug, "Thanks, Pinky," was all he said before he let him go.

Craig wasn't entire sure what to make of that, but there were things to do. Rick picked up the pile of his clothes and sauntered off, supposedly to change and find food like he said. Craig noticed the wadded up pile of clothes on the floor and realized that they must be his, considering Rick found his journal as well. That lazy lout just tossed them on the floor like nothing… Craig grumbled about it as he picked up each piece and folded it carefully.

There was a dark maroon turtleneck and a blazer, along with some slacks that he favored. They were his clothes alright. He took the newly folded pile and headed downstairs to the locker room to shower. He might as well do that while Rick was poking around for food, to save time. Not that they had many places they needed to be right this moment, but efficiency was still important to Craig. Plus, it'd give him a moment to think.


	18. Chapter 18

Still clothed, he tentatively turned on the water, finding it was still pleasantly warm. He found a bottle with a faded label that thankfully held soap after he stripped down to nothing. He set his underclothing next to the clothes Rick had found and walked to the back of the big communal shower room. He could see the entrance from here and he was 60% sure the entrance couldn't see him. He turned to wash out his hair and when the water cleared from his eyes, he swore he saw a flash of red checkered shirt…

He didn't think anything of it until he heard someone enter the bathroom as well. Rick, that shameless… Craig turned around to tell him to wait his turn, but his jaw just hung slack. Rick shot him a grin, but Craig wasn't looking at his face, not this time. He knew that Rick was attractive, but it'd… it had definitely been awhile since Craig had been intimate with someone, even in a strange situation like this. And by 'a while' it was more like never before, so it was a little bit strange to him to see muscled arms and chest hair when he had none of those things. Rick paid no mind to what Craig was looking at; though he was very aware he was staring. He turned on the faucet next to Craig's already running shower.

"Pass that soap there, sweetheart?" Rick said with a grin.

Craig shook his head and grabbed the bottle, turning away with a reddened face. He passed it to Rick without meeting his eyes.

"What the hell, Rick, you could have waited your turn," he muttered.

"And miss the chance to wash your back? I don't think so, Peachy," Rick said with a big grin.

"You wouldn't dare," Craig said, almost half-smiling.

With all the danger they had been in, it was worth a little bit of tomfoolery to relax a little. Craig wasn't… entirely certain he wanted to keep Rick at arm's length for the entire time they got out. He did, after all, promise him that once they were out, they would try being a couple at least. At the time, he said it to keep Rick moving, but with what he knew now, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"Oh, I think I would, darlin,'" Rick said, never one to back down from a challenge.

Craig turned his back to Rick, "Go ahead then," he said, managing not to stutter in embarrassment.

Craig almost jumped when he felt Rick's heavy hands on his shoulders. He was a few inches shorter than Rick, so when Rick drew close, Craig could feel hair tickling his shoulder blades. Rick dipped his head down near Craig's neck, pressing his hands on the wall in front of him to keep him in place. Craig could feel him breathing on the nape of his neck and it made his shoulders involuntarily tense up. Flinching, he nearly gasped when he felt a peck on his nape.

"I've been waitin' a long time, sweetheart," came the gravelly whisper.

Craig's eyes drooped half-lidded; he could only stare at his fingers entwined with Rick's on the off-white tile of the shower room. Rick's soft breath across his neck was making all of the tiny hairs on his arms stand up. He felt his knees buckle, but Rick was right there, scooping him up and pressing him against the wall. He didn't have his glasses on, but it didn't matter, his eyes immediately shut as Rick's knuckles gently brushed his cheekbone.

"Jus' tell me to stop and I'll leave ya alone, I promise," Rick breathed, sounding like he was having a hard time speaking himself.

Craig could only numbly nod for a second before Rick wrapped his hands around his face. Craig's eyes snapped open for only a second when he realized that he wasn't the only one shaking. His gaze flicked to Rick's darkened green eyes. Rick suddenly moved forward and kissed Craig; it wasn't hard and charged like Craig expected, but it was soft and needy. He was so thrown off by it that he didn't know how to react for half a moment. He stood there, frozen in the steam-filled shower room with a hairy naked man pressed up against him like he'd disappear if they broke away. Craig finally relaxed and leaned into the kiss, sighing quietly at the sudden dispelling of tension.

Rick pulled away and caressed Craig's bottom lip with his thumb. He had a wistful, but fiery look in his eye that Craig decided he could certainly get used to. He smiled a little bit up at his rueful looking partner, which caused Rick to break out into a grin. Craig tentatively reached up and touched his face, running his fingertips along the pronounced stubble along his chin. Suddenly the pounding of water on the tile was deafening to both of them and neither of them could take it anymore.

Rick nearly crushed Craig under his weight, biting and sucking at his bottom lip. Craig let out a strangled gasp and gripped Rick's shoulders tightly, making his knuckles turn white. Rick's hands trailed down to Craig's hips, gently brushing his waist down the way, making him gasp slightly. Rick smiled; damn, he was sensitive. Rick roughly pulled Craig's hips forward, but Craig stiff-armed him with a heavy exhale.

"Nnnot here," he whispered, "Just not here. Please."

Rick tightened his grip around Craig's waist so he could nip at his earlobe, "You haven't thought about it here? I have, lotsa times, with you."

If it were possible, Craig's already flushed face got redder, "I-I-I…"

"Jus' like this," Rick pressed Craig's wrists to the tiled wall, just under the stream of water, so Craig's eyes started to follow them all the way down his chest toward…

Craig swallowed, "…a-and?"


	19. Chapter 19

NSFW at this point for graphic sex

* * *

><p>Craig automatically shut his eyes again when Rick got close enough to breathe on his earlobe, "I thought about it a lot, I swear. Everyone'd be gone and it'd just be you and me, gorgeous," Rick whispered suddenly, "You'd be jus' as shy as you always are, trying not to look at me, but me'n myself would be doin' the same, tryin' to be secretive about it. You'd look so damn good wet that I wouldn't be able t'help myself and you'd eventually notice… well."<p>

The arch in Craig's spine relaxed a little when Rick stopped speaking, but he gasped again when Rick moved Craig's hand down to that very thing he'd probably notice. Rick had to bite his tongue when Craig ran a shaking hand down his length. It took a lot of willpower right at this moment, but Rick let go of Craig's hand still on the tile and pulled away.

"But not in here, right?" Rick said offhand, though it strained every part of him to do that.

Craig blinked a couple of times before he was even fully able to form a sentence, "Ah… W-w-wait."

"Nah, don't worry, I said I'd back off and I did, keepin' my promises," Rick said, turning away with a sagely knod.

Craig grit his teeth and grabbed Rick's shoulder, "I don't think so," he said through a clenched jaw.

"Is that a 'go 'head, Rick, take me?'" Rick said with a cheeky grin.

"_YES,"_ Craig nearly growled.

"That's what I wanted to hear," Rick said as he grabbed the bottle of soap again and poured a bit into his hands.

Rick beckoned Craig over with a flick of his head; Craig realized this was all a ploy, but one for explicit consent, so he was alright. That sneaky… but sweet… Craig didn't really care what he was right then. He drew closer until Rick finally grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him close, lathering the small of his back with slow strokes.

"That's not a very efficient way to wash that," he pointed out.

"Ah, you'll get over it, I bet," Rick said in a low voice.

Rick had strong hands and quickly Craig did indeed get over, with his face buried into his shoulder while Rick's hands did their best to work out all of the stress that the blonde man attracted like a magnet. Craig hummed softly against his neck and Craig could almost feel Rick tense up. His inner strategist grinned like an idiot; Craig started to run his mouth down the pronounced lines in Rick's neck, making him hitch in breath. Craig rather liked that reaction and decided to go further and nipped at the skin lightly. Rick's hands were getting tenser around Craig's middle; Craig bit gently into his neck this time, causing him to grunt and dig his fingers into Craig's ass.

"Ahhn, sweetheart, you're killin' me," Rick muttered, his arms still taut around Craig's middle.

"Shut up," Craig commanded, "Kiss me."

Rick did as he was told and broke away, "Done this before, beautiful?"

"Of course not!" Craig sputtered, caught off guard by the question, "_I'm_ not easy."

Rick managed to laugh, "Hah! You're definitely hard, very, very hard."

Rick moved them into the water for a moment before pushing Craig completely against the wall.

"Wait, have you?" Craig asked frantically.

"Have I what, gorgeous?" Rick said, kissing him along his jawline.

"Done… this before?" Craig said, trying to push him away so he'd answer his question.

"Mmm, not with other… y'know," Rick said, "First time for everythin' right?"

Craig didn't have time to protest before Rick shut him up by kneeling on the white tile beneath them. Watching, Craig could see that Rick was definitely unsure about what he was going, but he kept on going, in Rick fashion. Even if he didn't know what he was coming up against, he met it head on… maybe literally this time. Rick carefully ran his fingers along the vein at the bottom of Craig's member, feeling things out, trying to get an idea of what to do. Craig pressed his back against the cold tile and tried not to yell in impatience.

Rick began moving his fingers all along Craig's length, so he had to bite his tongue and shut his eyes to avoid becoming upset, but when something experimental and wet moved along his cockhead, his hands found themselves in Rick's hair. Craig swore he could hear him laugh, but he no longer cared. His nerves were too tightly wound right now and his body needed all of his brain cells to process what was happening to his body.

Craig felt Rick's hands move around to his hips and then his mouth engulfing his cock, slowly. Craig's eyes snapped open and then promptly rolled right back into his head, with his jaw hanging open in a wide O-shape. When Rick pulled back, Craig realized he'd forgotten to breathe; his lungs where screaming for air. He took a gasping breath when Rick suddenly moved back down. Craig bit his lip near to the point of bleeding while Rick started to move faster. He was trying so hard not to cry out, not to embarrass himself. The stubborn bastard blowing him seemed to notice this and sped up slightly to make up for the lack of noise.

The lingering thought in Craig's mind was that Rick was exceptionally good at this for someone who hadn't done it before; not that he had a lot of comparison. Rick started humming… Craig tugged on his hair helplessly, no longer able to bite his tongue. Rick made another obscene sounding groan, making Craig's cock hum in the wickedest ways. Craig's jaw hung open again in a soundless moan, but it was trying to escape. Rick groaned again, watching Craig's face like a hawk.

"_Ah g-god," _came Craig's strangled cry, "_Rick,oh-gh-please dontstopleaseohplease god!_"

Stopping wasn't anywhere on the agenda. Rick scratched down Craig's hips, going about as fast as he was able at this point. Craig was panting heavily, making his voice hitch into a near-whine. He was getting more and more tense, but it felt _so fucking good._ His knees suddenly buckled and his vision completely whited out as he came violently, Rick still attached to his cock. He continued to suck until Craig gathered up the strength to pull him off by his hair.

Rick pulled him down to the floor and kissed him, not heeding the half protests Craig made about his mouth. With Craig now sitting, he could see Rick's accomplished expression.

"Ready to go again?" Rick asked with another cheeky grin.

"Give me a damn second," Craig said, still breathing erratically, "I was 23.8% sure that I was going to pass out, you can wait."


	20. Chapter 20

Again, NSFW for graphic sex

* * *

><p>"I don't think so, c'mere," Rick growled, making a grab for Craig.<p>

He managed to get ahold of Craig's wrist and pulled him on top of his chest. Craig grumbled something that sounded like facts about impatient people, but he straddled Rick's waist anyway. Rick's hands rested on his hips and Craig's hands on Rick's chest. He wasn't terribly sure what to do from here, but Rick seemed to have an idea. He moved Craig's hips backwards slightly until he felt Rick's cock along the small of his back. He stiffened slightly, looked down at Rick with widened eyes. Rick looked confident enough, with a determined expression and slippery body.

"Have you ever…?" Rick mumbled only loud enough for Craig to think he imagined it.

"I-I… well, I've… well," he stuttered, embarrassed to admit that he had at least tried that on his own way back when.

"S'it's been 'while though," Rick said, quickly drawing Craig back toward his waist and then suddenly toward his cock again.

Craig didn't say anything, but leaned forward to make a scramble for the bottle of soap they found. He wasn't entirely sure this would work how he wanted, but he at least wanted to try. If he didn't try now, he might never have the—He didn't want to think about that right now.

"T-try this," he suggested, taking one of Rick's hands from his hips and pressing the bottle into it.

"How…," he started to ask before Craig leaned all the way forward to lean on his elbows around Rick's head.

He got the idea then and even more so when he felt Craig's apprehensive breath on his neck. _God dammit_. He put some of the soap on his hand and tossed the bottle away. While Craig gasped against his neck in apprehension, Rick was working up a lather across Craig's ass. He obediently lifted his hips to help Rick's reach to work both hands lower. Craig sharply inhaled when he felt fingers inside of him. It was sudden but it surprisingly didn't hurt as much as he anticipated. Rick wasn't waiting for answers right now and pushed two fingers inside of him. Craig started panting but Rick quickly removed his fingers and was rubbing some of the soap across his cock.

He quickly grabbed Craig's hip and lowered him down as fast as Craig would allow. Craig cried out when he was suddenly filled and Rick groaned appreciatively. Craig gripped Rick's shoulders tightly.

"Slowdownslowdown, wait, pleaaase," he begged, no longer trying to keep his noises under control.

Rick hesitated for half a second before pulling Craig all the way down with one grand pull. Craig outright screamed, half from pain and surprised, but it was a pleasured scream, so Rick didn't feel too bad.

"Mmn, you've got about two seconds before I fuck you senseless," Rick choked out.

His fingers were digging into Craig's hips and he was absolutely sure he'd have to apologize for bruises later, but it didn't matter in the least right now. He gave Craig his two seconds before he bucked his hips, making the man on top of him bite his lip in a vain attempt to hide the small amount of pain. Craig wasn't about to let this go on like this, so he rolled his hips experimentally, making Rick groan loudly.

"Ahhh, fuck sweetheart, just like that," he mumbled, helping him rock up and down slowly.

Craig pushed his hands into Rick's stomach, giving him more leverage to lift himself off of Rick's cock and then crash right back down, making Rick lift his hips up to meet him. Craig's mouth hung open again; this felt much, _much _better than practicing on his own and after the pain subsided, he even got hard again himself. Rick's eyes were trained right on Craig's face. His eyes were glazed and his jaw slacked and Rick thought he looked damn beautiful just like that on top of him.

Craig muttered something that he scarcely believed he said himself, "Say it again, Craig," Rick moaned.

"Fuck me," he said a little louder.

Rick obliged by thrusting up from the floor just slightly faster, "_Fuck me_," Craig moaned, "_Faster._"

Craig fell forward on Rick's chest and Rick wrapped his arms around Craig's waist and pounded into him as fast as he could manage. He knew he was getting close and had no idea what to do about it, but suddenly Craig started writhing under Rick's arms.

"_Fuck me, oh god, fuck me, Rick, I'm… fuck!" _Craig cried out suddenly.

Craig tensed up immediately and Rick couldn't take it anymore. Between the moans and the dirty talk, plus the tightness and then making Craig cum a second time, Rick was done for. He swore loudly and slammed Craig down on his cock as far as he would go before he finished as well.

After a moment of tense tableau, they both started to breathe again. Craig put his hands on both sides of Rick's head and kissed him between panting breaths. Craig slowly lifted himself up and Rick picked himself off of the floor. They spent a quiet moment catching their breath and washing off before they went and dried themselves off with the extra clothes they found. In the locker room, Rick hugged Craig from behind while he was trying to throw on his turtleneck.

"I love you," he mumbled, suddenly feeling shy about it for some reason.

Craig nearly scoffed; wasn't this the same man who was trying to tell him the same thing while falling into god-knows-how-much water? He wasn't sure how to respond for a moment, but he knew what Rick was waiting for. It was also probably why he was feeling so shy about saying it and Craig felt a little mad about that. He wasn't the type of person to sleep with someone for no reason. He turned around to see Rick already fully dressed.

He looked a hell of a lot more like a Texas boy now that he wore a red checked shirt and a hat. Craig might have thought that was really ridiculous, but it made Rick seem… more like himself. He reached up and smoothed out the collar on the shirt, not immediately meeting Rick's gaze.

"You're an idiot, you're aware of that, I trust," Craig said loftily, "You don't mean to tell me that you're still concerned about that?"

Rick tensed a little bit, taking a moment to translate what Craig said into English. His shoulders drooped and his chin dropped, making it so the hat cast a shadow across his face. Craig had to bite his tongue to keep from calling him a drama queen.

"I wanna hear you say it," he finally admitted.


	21. Chapter 21

Craig's mouth twitched again, almost smiling, "Idiot, of course I love you."

Rick looked incredibly relieved to hear that and that made Craig equally relieved. This wasn't some conquest, it appeared. Getting Craig to sleep with him wasn't part of some ludicrous bucket list that Rick had put together, but an honest to god attachment and Craig felt so relieved by that on so many levels. Rick gripped Craig's elbows suddenly, with a look of urgency in his eyes.

"I swear, I meant what I said 'bout when we get out, you understan' me?" Rick said, voice intense, "I'm not gonna give a shit if it's fuckin' illegal or we'll get killed or whatever the hell, I wanna be with you."

Craig didn't really want to get too optimistic before they had a plan to get out of here, so he needed a diversion. He thought quickly on his feet for something sarcastic to say that wouldn't completely hurt Rick's now very vulnerable feelings.

"Ah yes, we'll be the picture of domesticity, won't we?" Craig said, shrugging of Rick's hands to pull on his turtleneck, "You, the breadwinner and protector of the household and me your little wife?"

"…I'm pretty damn serious, angel," Rick said, looking dangerously serious.

Craig shouldered his blazer on without meeting Rick's intense gaze, "I know you are."

Craig finally looked up and saw that Rick looked more than a little bothered. Craig reached up and touched his cheek with a half-smile ghosting across his features. It had been awhile since either of them had eaten or slept; they needed to rest. Once they had done that, they could start searching for an escape plan, but they had to recharge first or they would fail no matter what. Craig reached down and squeezed Rick's hand tightly.

"Let's get some rest," he said finally, pulling slightly so Rick would follow.

They had picked the warmest place they could find to sleep: near the control room. Rick rummaged in the room for half a second before emerging with a pitiful, but full box of some kind of spongy cakes. Craig leaned up against the wall and leaned his head against the fading paint. He felt tired for the first time in a long time. Now that they were sitting down and not struggling for their lives, he felt like he might fall asleep right there. Rick sat down next to him and offered him a plastic wrapped cake. They didn't look moldy in the least, which meant they wouldn't starve to death. He didn't eat many sweet things while alive; he was pretty sure these were called Twinkies or something.

He felt his eyes drooping from sheer physical exhaustion and the next thing he remembered was Rick's arm wrapping around his shoulders. Several hours later, he woke with a shiver and tried to get off of the ground, but realized that he and Rick ended up horizontal somehow and Rick was spooning him like his life depended on it. This brute had ridiculous strength, but Craig managed to extricate himself and not wake him. He glanced down at his dark-haired bed mate, finding himself honestly hoping they got out of here. He realized he was getting soft and his icy front was melting again and he quickly steeled himself by reminding himself of the odds. Right now, they had a 12% chance of living and escaping without any major harm and a 34% chance of living and escaping seriously maimed. Yes, that was surely enough to bring back his pessimism.

With Craig's body heat gone, Rick rolled over and wrapped his arms around himself. Craig frowned; he was going to go looking for an exit. Rick could be comfortable for now. There was still this blazer that Craig really didn't need, so he pulled it off and placed it over Rick's arms. Craig left the sentimental part of himself with that jacket and searched around the lobby where he and Rick used to work.

Most of the areas were boarded up, which gave Craig a distinct uneasy feeling. He didn't really want to run into some of the more fabled failed experiments that he'd only had the displeasure of hearing about while working for Aperture as a chemist. He wasn't a biologist or a physicist… so he thought he'd be safe after hearing those stories, but clearly he was wrong. He backed away from all the boarded doors and eventually returned to the security room.

He glanced over the switches and dials, hoping to find something that might assist him when his eyes finally came to rest on the maps of all the testing spheres. There were maybe six or seven all joined to form one testing track and Craig slowly began to realize that if they climbed those spheres, they would be at the highest point in the old facility. This was a semblance of a plan, at least. It was more than he walked into the security room with. There wasn't any AI in here to track them and if Craig managed to miss some of it, it was because it was so low-tech it wouldn't be self-aware. He'd also be willing to be that if the chambers had anything in them, they would have already trekked through them while they were employees. He heard some shuffling behind him and turned around to see Rick standing there, looking bleary eyed and holding Craig's blazer. He blinked heavily a couple of times before saying anything.

"Rick, you're still tired, go back to sleep," Craig said gently as he could.

"Can't," he mumbled, "I'm missin' somethin'."

Craig rolled his eyes, but Rick insisted. They had a plan and Craig was mildly confident in it; though there wasn't anything that was sure in this situation. He allowed Rick to drag him out of the security room to use him as a warmer again. He couldn't sleep again, so he just calculated the likelihood of surviving the same set of test chambers twice while staring at his glasses he'd put away from him. He almost wished they could stay here, but that wasn't possible. Fighting for their lives to get to the surface was better than staying down here and eating Twinkies until they ran out. Those things weren't even good.


	22. Chapter 22

Sometime later, Craig woke Rick up, who was still a little bleary and tired, understandably so. He outlined his plan of escape before they got up and figured out where to go. Rick had to pull down some boards covering doors and windows before they could reach the testing spheres. The area that the spheres were wasn't anything like they remembered. It was almost nearly flooded past the guardrails, over which should have been a chasm to more spheres, but it was full of water instead. One huge, half-submerged testing sphere was right in front of them, with the entrance filled with water, Craig was sure.

The space in this cavern was enough for several hundred or even several thousand of these huge testing spheres. These spheres alone could hold over a hundred people each. This cavern went on forever and it made them both feel pretty small; it was daunting. Craig stayed silence while he and Rick moved to the closest one to the handrail. Rick stayed quiet, too, which Craig was thankful for; he was nervous about this crapshoot plan as it was. He didn't need Rick chattering on about it, too. Craig had calculated their chances of survival and… well, let's just say that he was calculating and recalculating them again.

"This where ya wanna try?" Rick asked, pointing out the nearest testing sphere.

It was a huge spherical aluminum chamber that was lined with metal in a hexagonal shape all across the surface. It was the closest to them and their best bet to get inside one of the testing spheres to make their way up. Craig nervously nodded and suddenly grabbed Rick's hand and squeezed tightly. The look on his face said everything Rick needed to know about how Craig was feeling about this whole ordeal. He tugged on Craig's hand and pulled him close, embracing him tightly. Craig buried his face into Rick's chest, unaware of how sensitive his companion was to his feelings. It made him feel unconfident and miserable, but Rick was whispering something low to him, something that made him feel a little better.

"It's okay, I trust ya, okay? I think we can make it through and we'll be much fuckin' better off when we are out. I love you," Rick was mumbling close to Craig's ear.

A horrible feeling of doubt bubbled up in Craig's chest and he immediately shoved it back down. He could. Not. Get discouraged. Or depressed. They had to do this; they didn't have any other choice and that life… That life that Rick had promised sounded so good right now. An apartment with a real bed where they had real jobs where their lives weren't in danger; all of that sounded like a right fairy tale in the midst of this nightmare. Craig would give anything for that right this second; he was ready to give it all up trying anyway.

"Thank you," Craig mumbled, muffled from his face in Rick's flannel shirt, "I love you, too."

Rick let him go and gave him a reassuring smile. God, Craig prayed they didn't fuck this up. He glanced out over the water and estimated the distance from the rail to the sphere again. Not too far, he was pretty sure Rick could make it if he could not. The benefits of being tall, he supposed, but it didn't matter now.

"We have to get inside of that testing sphere," he explained, "Then we can work our way up to the top and find an exit. Blow a hole in the place if we have to."

"You got it, babe," Rick said, going for the rail.

"You go ahead and jump if you can, if you can't make it, I'll get you out of the water, okay?" Craig said, but Rick was already a couple of steps ahead of him.

He took a running leap off of the rail and managed to latch onto one of the edges of the hexagons around the sphere. He hauled himself up and looked up at Craig with the biggest grin he could've put on at that point. Craig wasn't feeling nearly as confident, but at least one of them was.

"Find a way inside!" Craig called at him, quickly calculating the chances of him making it to the sphere.

Rick gave a quick salute and began searching. Craig's calculations were quickly coming up that he wouldn't make it and wouldn't be strong enough to climb it from the water. He didn't even have the right variables to calculate how likely the water was radiation waste instead of actual water. It was all dark and murky enough to make him nervous. Shit, why had he sent Rick flying over that deathtrap? He was going to get them both k-NO, there was no room for thinking like that.

A sudden rumble shook Craig out of his darkened thoughts. He nearly stumbled backwards the ground was shaking so violently, but he was paying more attention to where Rick might've been than keeping his balance. Shit! Shit, what was going on? This shouldn't be happening! Craig's panicked thoughts were racing as fast as his calculations for survival which were looking more and more grim by the minute. They were _already at 20%._ He couldn't… shit!

"RICK!" he shouted, getting as close to the rail as he could, "_RICK, WHERE ARE YOU?"_

There was a faint voice he could hear over the rumbling, but he couldn't be sure of what it was saying. No! It sounded vaguely echoed, like he'd already gotten into the damned testing sphere. Craig almost relaxed until he heard some dangerously low crackling on what sounded like an ancient loudspeaker.

"_I'm surprised you, of all people, underestimated me, Fact Core,"_ GLaDOS' mechanical voice crackled low over the speaker.

"NO! Nonononono!" Craig cried desperately, "Let him out, let him out! _PLEASE!"_

"_I hear this subject can't swim. Time for a little test," _GLaDOS ignored Craig's pleas.

There wasn't anything he could do at this point. The entire sphere lifted up out of the water seemingly on its own before crashing right down into the water again. Radioactive waste be damned, Craig launched himself into the water, swimming as fast as he could down to the rapidly sinking testing sphere. Adrenaline was urging him on, allowing him to cut through the water at a much faster pace. He grabbed ahold of a now-visible hatch in the sphere and tugged with all of his skinny-armed might, trying to pry the door open. It finally gave and Craig swam inside, eyes darting around for any sign of Rick. The sphere was completely empty of objects, but he didn't see any signs of life from anything. Nothing remotely human was in this sphere! Craig's lungs began to burn and he had no choice but to make a break for the surface, swimming as fast as he could.

With a great gasp he made it without blacking out, breathing heavily against his will, coughing and trying fruitlessly to try to yell for Rick, but he continued to gasp. His eyes searched around, hoping to see something, _anything_ that might tell Craig he still had a chance to save that foolhardy idiot! He couldn't lose him, not now!


	23. Chapter 23

"_I lied, I just sunk the sphere. I have him right here,"_ GLaDOS said lightly; Craig swore he could hear amusement in her mechanical voice.

He looked up and saw a huge claw quickly coming down to meet him. He tried to get away, but there was no use, it clamped firmly around his waist and lifted him right out of the water. He struggled while scanning around him frantically for Rick, he didn't see any other claws, nor any sign of him anywhere. The more he struggled, the tighter the clamp got until he had trouble breathing. The most rational part of him told him to hold still until she put him down. There was no escape without broken rips right now; he had to stay calm and watch for an opportunity.

The claw suddenly stopped rising and made a sharp left, making the strain on Craig's ribs worsen, but it soon immediately dropped him on a moving platform. He could see the iridescent light trail it left behind him, but still no sign of Rick. He was starting to panic. He raked his hands through his hair and tried to form a plan, but it wouldn't come. He wasn't going to save Rick, they were both going to die and that stupid, _fucking_ dream of having a… a _life_ was nothing but that a _stupid dream! _ He wanted to get ahold of himself, he wanted to get them out of there, but he _couldn't. _He shouldn't have left the old offices, they should have just stayed there and… _and what? Starved to death? Is that how you really want to have died? Watching him wither away to nothing?_ He knew this was all hopeless, he knew from the start why did he let himself…

"Nnnnghhrragh!" Craig cried, tugging at his hair.

He curled up on the moving platform and tried really hard not to cry. This was hopeless, GLaDOS couldn't have been doing anything but tracking them the whole way. She was just watching them, hoping for a hilarious fucking trap! She got that fucking trap! Craig led Rick right into it, it was all his fault! It was all his… The moving platform suddenly stopped and Craig looked up. He scrambled to his feet at the sight.

It was the room he woke up in when he was downloaded into a core, or it looked like it. Rick was on the operating table with several electrodes strapped to his head and body; his street clothes were stripped off completely. Craig stumbled over to the table, trying to shake Rick awake.

"No… nonooooo, Rick, _Rick!" _he sobbed, trying everything in his power, pinching, slapping, beating his fists against his chest to wake him up.

Rick didn't respond, no matter what Craig did. She…_she_ downloaded his brain again, and god knew if she would just dump them into that horrifying box or if they would just be fucking _computer programs_ again. He knew he wouldn't wake him back up; he knew he wouldn't be able to save him from this, but he tried until he couldn't anymore and was crouched next to the table with his knuckles turning white against the edge. He was a goddamn failure, he couldn't even… Something beeped behind him and he turned around to look in horror, but there was nothing there, nothing he could see through his wet and tear-stained glasses. He whipped his head back around when the table started moving away.

"NO!" he sobbed, trying to pull the table back toward him, but the mechanism was too strong.

Rick's body disappeared into a slot in the pristine grey wall and another table appeared in its place. Craig's shoulders were shaking, but he knew what was coming. She wanted him on the table, too and she would fucking get him. He had no reason to try to escape now; Rick was the one who wanted out in the first place and he couldn't… he couldn't live with himself knowing he was the one who caused this. He'd almost ended it because of crippling loneliness and this… now that he… this would be several thousand times worse.

He climbed onto the table, arms shaking from exhaustion and fear and shuddered in disgust when he heard the cable with the needle coming toward him. He felt a prick in his arm and then everything went dark. He was glad for it and honestly prayed he didn't wake up ever again.


	24. Chapter 24

Consciousness was a funny thing to talk about with AI. It was all really ones and zeroes with them, though with humans it was a trifle more complicated. One could be alive without really living, drifting along, doing their best to avoid affecting anyone and letting anyone affect them, but that wasn't really living, according to a truly philosophical sense. Homo sapiens relied on such philosophical quandaries to validate their existence… Something, _anything_ to make them feel less like a tiny micro-organism in the vastness of the universe was exactly what homo sapiens craved; it's what they _fight_ for, day to day.

In that sense, is Artificial Intelligence truly living? If a human being's mind is transcribed, translated into a series of zeroes and ones, are they still alive? Do they still have that spark of humanity or is that exclusive to their flesh and blood? Can an AI construct love; can they feel if they were once human? Or can they feel _ever? _Is it purely a selfish and egotistical human belief that only humans may love and that only humans are the ones who may change their world?

A striped pink optic shuttered open after what felt like a long time. It peered around, with a quick and sudden shrink when it realized where it was. It was sitting atop the pile of several bodies, much like itself. All cold grey metal, long forgotten in a heap; that was that all pink optic saw. It continued to examine its surroundings, seemingly searching for something. It whirred suddenly, trying to roll forward without success. The optic closed for a moment, searching through its processors for its normal functions.

"Fact:," it began in a deadpan voice, "Explosions are the manifestation of the fight between good and evil."

The optic opened again, the pink circle darting to and fro, still searching. It shut its optic again and tried once more.

"Fact: People who cannot swim are known to be physically stronger than those who can," it deadpanned again.

Again, the optic opened, seeming much more frantic this time. It heard a low hum and its center light shrank several sizes in fear and anticipation. Another core carefully opened its optic, green meshed light suddenly filling the pink core's view. The pink core shook violently, appearing to wish to say something, but it was unable.

"Fact: Love is a faulty emotion that brings nothing but pain. It does, however, grant many humans momentary, though illusory, happiness," it spouted, still shaking.

It shook more, clearly unhappy with what it had said. It shut its optic in shame, but the green core managed to roll closer to it.

"It's okay, gorgeous, it's okay," the green core whispered in a familiar, but now robotic voice, "I know it's you."

"Fact: A-apologies are the hardest for prideful people who have little self-worth," the core's voice system seemed to be malfunctioning; it was starting to skip.

"Sweetheart, I don't blame ya," the green core said in a somber voice, "Do ya trust me?"

The core opened its pink optic and looked hopefully at the green core, "Fact: Trust is not easily earned nor given, but it is best gained through—TWELVE-TWELVE-TWELVE," it spouted suddenly, seemingly unable to stop saying so for several moments.

"I found a program you 'n I might like, babe," the green core said, kind of sad.

The green core shut its own optic and there was the sound of clear servos moving and fans running. Suddenly, a long cord snaked its way out of the green core's opening and hooked itself into the pink core's, who gave no resistance. It was simply staring at its fellow core with trust and hope managing to appear it its robotic eye.

"**DOWNLOADING PROGRAM,**" a tinny voice suddenly said.

Suddenly, the pink core shut down and put itself on reserve power, the green core soon to follow it.

Craig woke up on what felt like… He sat up immediately and stared down at a particularly green patch of grass. He stared around him, finding he was sleeping on the front lawn of a red brick house with pretty pink tulips growing in planters just under the windows. He heard the door open and he whipped around to see who it was, terribly confused and kind of scared. He saw Rick standing there in the doorway, arms crossed and grin very clear on his face. Craig scrambled to his feet in record time.

"Hey there, beautiful," he said with a smile, "D'ya like it?"

Craig's shoulders shuddered and he fell back on the grass with tears completely obscuring his vision. He heard Rick coming up to him, but he didn't dare look for fear it wasn't real. He did feel Rick's strong arms around him and he reached up and felt his thick wiry hair, too. His glasses were mashed up against his shoulder and this… this couldn't be…

"It's jus' a program, baby," Rick explained, "But we can stay here, I… stole it on m'way into th'core. Instead of bein'… there, we can be here."

Craig clung to Rick tighter. This was more than he ever could have asked for when he saw Rick's body on that table. As surreal and fake as it was, this was more than he could have ever asked for.


	25. Quiet Life Epilogue

There were quite a few pros and cons about living in a digital world, Craig soon realized as he and Rick began life in a little program he'd stolen from the mainframe while transferred back into a core. That whole bit was a long story and neither of them really dwelled on it; except for the occasional nightmare Craig had involving medical tables and Rick's slipping away. Usually that simply ended in him waking up in a cold sweat and clinging to Rick just to remember he was alive. At that point, Rick would wake up as well and hold onto him as long as necessary, whispering reassurances until his partner fell back to sleep.

Beyond that, the simulation was actually pretty real. It simulated sensation on the skin, which they found useful _very_ quickly after a few hours of investigating the program. It simulated smell and even taste, which was an interesting feature, considering they did not technically have to eat. Simulated hunger pangs were there along with the need to bathe, which neither of them minded, anywa. Definitely, one of the better things was simulated food; they did not need to shop, gather, hunt, whatever it was people on the outside had to do; it was simply a programming script to make a dinner or whatever else they wanted.

Rick in his general enthusiastic nature learned how to do this quickly and tried something new every opportunity he could. Craig was repulsed by the idea of a lot of the food he tried, but Rick ate everything happily good or bad and even managed to convince the other man that being picky wasn't quite as fun as it sounded. Today it was raw oysters with some kind of garnish that looked about as unappetizing as Craig could've imagined.

"C'mon, s'not gonna hurtcha," Rick insisted, offering one of the shelled oysters.

"Quite simple for you to say with a _simulated stomach of steel_," Craig scoffed, attempting to push Rick's large hand away, but Rick kept stock still, stubborn as always.

"Swear t'god yer worse than a kid," he shook his head and slurped the offered oyster down, making Craig shudder visibly.

"I don't feel the least bit bad about wasting digital food," the blonde replied with a sniff, "Besides, oysters are an _aphrodisiac_ and _you_ don't need _anything_ encouraging you."

"First time I heard y'complainin', sweetheart," Rick's grinned lazily with a drop of his voice.

"R-Regardless! I'm allowed to be a little selective about what I eat," he insisted.

"An aphrodisiac, y'say?" Rick was scratching his chin with a look Craig knew meant mischief.

"You heard me right," Craig deadpanned, "Now may I please summon myself something a trifle more _edible?_"

"Oh not 'nymore, darlin', we're gonna make a trade, y'see," Rick was already planning and that didn't spell out anything good.

"I highly doubt you could have anything I really wanted, Rick, don't try to lie," Craig huffed, crossing his arms.

Rick leaned in his chair at their dinner table, running his hands through his hair in the very picture of thinking. Craig stabbed at the pasta in front of him, watching him warily until the legs of his chair hit the floor with a thud.

"Hah, I got one. Y'know 'm better at this whole whippin' up food thing, right?" Rick's expression couldn't have been more dangerously excited.

"…I'll concede you managed to pick out the programming for certain foods more adeptly than I bothered to find out," Craig muttered, sensing the direction this was going.

"'N I betcha don't think I've been payin' attention t'th'kinds'a things y'like, right?"

"I don't assume anything, but I'd be surprised to find you paid close attention, yes."

Rick's mouth twisted into a triumphant grin, "Strawberries, y'ain't so good at makin'em, but y'keep tryin'. Wanna say y'like'em jus' plain'r with those weird hotcake things?"

Craig's mouth was drawn into a straight line, "Crepes," he supplied.

"Yeah, those things! 'N I'll tell ya a secret, I've been workin' on gettin'em perfect. Nice big juuuicy strawberries, y'know? Plump n'red, not too sweet, like y'like it."

"I don't believe you," Craig said airily, "Prove it."

"If I make it like y'like it, y'gotta try th'oysters," Rick challenged, grin getting wider.

"That's so unlikely that I'll agree," Craig huffed.

Silence fell in the dining room while Rick's eyes were shut tightly, rewriting part of the script in the kitchen. Craig was surprised to find the first time that Rick was quick, clean, and efficient. They only had to figure out how to get the table leg out of the floor once due to a glitching accident. When Rick opened his eyes again, a strawberry filled crepe sat on the table in front of Craig who eyed it suspiciously.

"Here, try it n'see," Rick said with a cheeky grin, passing a fork.

Now he was just showing off, Craig thought, taking the fork and spearing a ripe looking red strawberry. Cautiously, he smelled it and found it smelled like a sweet, ripe strawberry; with only a moment's more hesitation, he ate it, chewing thoughtfully before his eyes got a little wide and he looked over at Rick who had the biggest grin on his face.

"So? I win'r kin I throw that away?"

Craig swallowed the strawberry in his mouth, regarding Rick's smug grin with slight frown. Delicately, he laid the fork back down next to the plate, taking his time folding his hands in his lap.

He sighed, letting his shoulders droop, "Yes, you _win_ and you knew it."

Rick leaned over the table and snagged one of Craig's carefully folded hands, drawing it toward him to kiss the knuckles, "Y'don't gotta try'em if y'don't want, 'm jus' teasin' ya."

"No, we made a trade and you supplied your end, I shall fulfill mine," Craig huffed, drawing his hand away from his grinning partner.

A shell was offered to him and he gingerly made sure the meat was detached from the shell with his fork, occasionally eyeing Rick next to him, who was watching intently. He shifted the shell from one hand to the other, unsure of how to tackle the removal in the proper manner.

"Jus' like this," Rick instructed, holding up another of the half-shells with the wider part toward his mouth.

Craig turned the shell around, emulating his over enthused dinner partner. Rick tipped the shell, letting the meat fall into his mouth, chewing while he turned and watched Craig do the same. He chewed once, twice, wincing a little at the odd texture he wasn't anticipating, and then quickly swallowed.

"So? Not s'bad is it?"

The face said everything, still drawn up into a deep, disgusted grimace. Rick bit back a chuckle, taking the empty shell from Craig's thin fingers, tossing it away. It was replaced with the fork for the strawberry crepes; Craig immediately ate some of the crepe and cream to get the feeling of that utterly shudder-worthy texture out of his mouth.

"Never again," Craig muttered, hunching over his crepes grumpily.

"Nah, tomorrow 'm workin' on sushi, I think y'might like that better," Rick scooted his chair closer.

It was pretty obvious why Rick was edging in on his space and Craig almost hunched further over his crepes, protectively. Instead, he took one of the bigger pieces of strawberry and offered it the dark-haired man, tentatively, who immediately took it and chewed.

"Aw, could'a made it better," he laughed, prompting Craig to throw a napkin at him.


End file.
